†my bad,love me anyway †

2006-04-17T21:57:00.000-07:00

under construction.

2006-04-03T23:00:00.000-07:00

the voting for FHM's 100 sexiest women in the world 2006 has begun. i'm rooting for my BB friend, SOFIE.

to vote for her: Type FHM100 VOTE Sofie
and send to 2929. ( For Globe, Touch Mobile, Smart, Addict, Talk and Text, and Sun subscribers)

2006-04-01T00:59:00.000-08:00

MONSTER'S INC part 2

mental block.

love

me

anyway

happy april fool's day

happy birthday ijin karol, teddy. have a good one

2006-03-29T01:30:00.000-08:00

he did his best but i guesss his best wasn't good enough *lol*

that's SIR Allan right there, singing "just once" on top of his lungs with me (and vicky)lurking in the background. yebah! next time naman, "hungry like a wolf" or "maniac" with dance moves pa ha! yey.

2006-03-27T04:00:00.000-08:00

hala...bored na naman

ym music - alternative

i write sin - panic!at the disco
world wide suicide- pearljam
the ghost of you- my chemical romance
mixed tape- jack's mannequin
glycerine - bush
the denial twist - the white stripes
no way back - foo fighters
plush- stone temple pilots
wings of a butterfly - h.i.m
beast and the harlot - avenged sevenfold

2006-03-22T00:46:00.000-08:00

nakakatamad mag update...

random thoughts
-ayoko na ulit makaaway si dadi abet. nakakapagod umiyak. hehehe. love you dadi abet.

- nakakamiss din pala si vicky? hahaha sumakit panga ko kakatawa.

- ang sarap maging rockED volunteer. haayyy

- mas masarap yung feeling na nagiging useful ako ulit. sa wakas

- nagpadala ng bagong digicam ang sister kong nasa new york. happiness!

- dina ako sanay uminom talaga...arg

- gumimik ako kagabi with my family and relatives. ang saya! sakit na nman tyan ko kakatawa at kakalamon sa seaside

- miss ko na ang boypren ko.

- mamimiss ko si ems. kanina na sya umalis papuntang china...sniff

- lapit na dumating si rika! at si kuya odeck! yey!

- asa dublin na si allan. san kaya sunod? happy ako at nakaka text ap din sya kahit nasa dagat

- gusto ko na pumayat tlaga.

2006-03-08T02:49:00.000-08:00

para sa leyte..itaas mo!

mike, margret and karl roy of kapatid at the rockED benefit concert for the leyte landslide victims lastnight. (cultural center of the philippines)

2006-03-07T05:39:00.000-08:00

DESTINY FULFILLED

sabi nga ni ai ai de las alas... "this is REALLY IS it!" ahahahaha yep, ladies and gentlemen...i've found him. if u were born with the name "angel" you gotta live up to it..and yep..he's really an angel. i never thought i'd ever find someone like him. sabi nga ng album ng destiny's child..."destiny fulfilled". i dont wana assume that we're gonna be together forevah..but i think its possible. he has such a good heart, he respects me a lot and he's close to his family. ang number one prob lang siguro eh yung work nya..toxic, man! arg.
like kris aquino would say .."ohmygash he's so masipag and so mabait". swear. im obviously gushing over him. hahaha.

after everything i've been through...maybe this is god's way of saying.."your search ends here, iha. you've shed bucket and buckets of tears already..he's your prize" ..god gave me an angel named ANGELO.

can i get an amen?

i really think i deserve to be happy this time...sabi ko nga dati "someday im gona grow wings..." yep..wala akong wings..my bf does. he's an angel nga eh. duh! haha. makikisakay na lng ako sa paglipad nya. if only you guys could see me right now...ha! brighter than sunshine...

make me whole - amel larrieux
Darling I want you to listen
I stayed up all night, so I could get this thing right
And I don't think there's anything missing
Cause a person like you, made it easy to do
I've waited for so long, to sing to you this song

Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You're the other half that makes me whole
You're the only other half that makes me whole

I think the angels are your brothers
They told you about me, said you're just what she needs
And I find myself thanking your mother
For giving birth to a saint
My spirit flies when I say your name
If there's one thing that's true
It's that I was born to love you

Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You're the other half that makes me whole
You're the only other half that makes me whole

You make my dreams
Come true over and, over again
And I honestly truly believe
You and me are written in the stars
I live my whole life through
To giving thanks to you

Cause your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You're the other half that makes me whole
You're the only other half that makes me whole

2006-03-06T01:05:00.000-08:00

ROCK ED SA CCP: Para sa Leyte!
A benefit concert on high gear.
Tues March 07
Starts@Sunset of the 7th
Ends@Sunrise of the 8th
CCP Main Theater Driveway Ramp
Facing Roxas Boulevard

The line up so far:

Radioactive Sago Project, Noel Cabangon, UpDharmaDown, JuanPabloDream, Giniling Festival, Paramita, The Dawn, Sound, Grey Skies Sessions, The Late Isabel, Makatha, Kjwan, Stitches, Jeepney Joyride, Spenglers, CoverMeQuick, Menaya, Bateria, Reggae Rock, Shards of Ice, Reklamo, VirginHunters, Cocojam, Formula Juan, Torotot Festival, Sweet Potato, Cynthia Alexander and many many more. (Keep posted for updates on the line up to be confirmed soon.)

All artists are performing as volunteers.
100% of the proceeds will go to the Leyte survivors fund.

A PhP100 donation will be requested from you at the gate. A donation stub gets you one free beer compliments of San Miguel. Pale Pilsen.

March 7 is a zero-politics peace night.
March 7 is all for Leyte.
Come in Peace.

A project of Rock Ed Philippines, Cultural Center of the Philippines, DAKILA, Preview Magazine, Terno Recordings, NU107, and MTV Philippines.

No More Excuses, Philippines!

2006-02-14T00:52:00.000-08:00

ugh..valentine's day... ooohh earth, can u just make me lunok? *kainin na sana ako ng lupa* bitter alert! hahaha ok fine, i dont have a date. so what? actually, someone asked me yesterday to be his "valentine". dinner daw sumwer in antipolo..wow overlooking. hahaha. sa pangit kong to, meron pako ganang magpakipot? shet. well, i really don't know him that much pa. and nakakatawa naman kung sasabay kami sa mga lovesick couples na rarampa sa kamaynilaan ngyong araw ng mga puso. i told him i'll think about it..15minutes ago, i texted him that i can't go. maybe next time..maybe pag hindi na balentayms.. haha.

infairness hindi naman ako apektado ng malubha kung hindi ako makikipagdate ngayon. wala lang.

pramis! hindi ako biter!

hihirit pa....

oo nga! ok nga lang walang date!

oh bat ganyan tingin mo sakin?

*baliw*

2006-02-11T00:47:00.000-08:00

lastnight,you asked me to listen to this song..and when i did..tears fell...wala naman tyo magagawa..we're too late. ingat sa trip mo tomorrow...

isang gabi
Orange And Lemons

Isang gabi
pa lamang tayong nagkakasama
Isang gabi ngunit
Para bang kay rami ng buwan
ang nakalipas

Isang halik
mo lamang sa mga labi kong sabik
Isang halik
sapat na para mahuli ko ang yong
kiliti

Refrain:
Sa pag uwi di pa rin malimot
ang yong mga ngiti
di na makatulog
parang kaluluwang di matahimik
naghihintay ng bukas

Chorus :
Ng dahil sa isang gabing kapiling ka
ako ngayon naiinip sating muling pagkikita
Ng dahil sa isang gabing kapiling ka
ako ngayon naiinip sating muling pagkikita

Isang muka
na buhay sa aking alaala
Isang paglimot
na di ko magagawa

Isang kahapon
na parangbang isang panaginip
Isang kahapon
sana’y maulit muli

2006-02-06T22:00:00.000-08:00

wala akong masabi..so i'm inviting all of you na lng to join us sa mga susunod ng rockED events
hehe

11 February 2006 Leadership and Volunteerism
Xavier-ICA-LSGH at Xavier School
Gang Badoy
9:00 am

17 February 2006 Leap Congress for College Top Graduates
Rock Ed Session with Paolo Santos & Gang Badoy
Crossroads 77
3:00 pm

18 February 2006 Kuwentuhan sa Quezon
Story Telling with Adarna Books
Infanta Quezon Town Plaza
Whole Day

24 February 2006 Edukasyon: Ang Bagong Rebolusyon
Noel Cabangon, Radioactive Sago, etc.
A Tribute Concert for Public School Teachers
A Joint Project with Dep Ed
Ninoy Aquino Stadium (Ultra)
5:00 pm

2006-02-06T00:40:00.000-08:00

my biggest realization...
you can't rely on other people for you own happiness.i am the only person who can make myself happy. bakit ba paulit ulit ko nakakalimutan to? im too young to have amnesia.. my bad, love me anyway, byutiful pipol.
i want to concentrate on my strenghts..kung pano ko gagawin yun, bahala na ako sa batman ko.hahaha. i know its hard to put into practice, i just have to consciously make a decision everyday when i wake up.consious effort. ooohhhhh

nway
we did the coolest thing last week! me and my friends helped in cleaning the luneta relief map. coolness talaga. its another rockED thingy..along with other orgs like DAKILA. maiinit, nakakaitim,yes. pero masarap ang feeling after. feeling artist pa ko kasi nakipaint din ako ng map. i can proudly tell my relatives and friends that i helped paint the visayas ang luzon part. hahahaah. color blue! and some landscapes ek ek..color green! oh ha...
but wait there's more! hahaha habang naglilinis at nagpipintura ang mga volunteers, my banda na tumutugtog sa backgrounds..diba cool? infairness, ang kinis ni diether ocampo. hahaha, and tado is so cool!
pucha..puro cool na lang nababanggit ko. eh cool naman tlga!

kaya ikaw, oo..ikaw na nagbabasa nito *kung meron man* sign up na and be a rockED volunteer!

yowch

2006-01-09T23:51:00.000-08:00

ok dont laugh..i wrote this poem last summer, and i was really really bored. hahaha everyday ako nanonood ng nickelodeon

enjoy

pag ibig at cartoons

si helga, mahal si arnold
si arnold mahal si leila
pero si helga binubully si arnold
"the more u hate , the more u love talaga"

si darren bestfiend ni ginger
si miranda type si darren
si ginger hindi matanggap yun
di tuloy sya makakaen

buti pa si spongebob
kay sandy hindi inlove
di tulad ng inlove sa money
na si mr. krusty krab

si plankton sobrang obsessed
sa secret recipe ng krabby patty
hindi makuntento
sa robot nyang wifey!

si courtney ayaw tanggapin
na hindi sya type ni jimmy
wala tuloy syang date sa sadie hawkin's
unlike dodie and macy

si earl nga pala!
mystery man ni macy.
wala syang idea
bestfriend ni karl un, na si hoodsie!

sakit sa ulo no?
kahit cartoons lang sila
tularan nila si squidward tentacles
clarinet lang, kuntento na

si gary at snellie
wag palang kalimutan.
sa bikini bottom
sila nagkainlaban

tulad ba kyo ni patrick starfish?
na inlove sa bato?
parang ako dati...
nang mainlove sayo.

yowch

2006-01-04T00:01:00.000-08:00

happy new year everyone. wala akong new year's resolution..i always end up not doing them anyway..pero gusto ko karirin yung rockED. para naman kahit papano magkaron ng purpose ang buhay ko. *puta andrama* ah basta. i enjoyed my first rockED event kasi.

nextweek ko na lng ipopost yung reminiscing 2005 entry ko..hihi kakatamad pa. and masakit puson ko.

yowch

ooooppppsss congrats MEC! labya! ganda ng wedding mo..and i love your gown.

2006-01-03T23:41:00.000-08:00

2006-01-03T23:05:00.000-08:00

rockED pics to start the year right..hehe

2005-12-17T00:03:00.000-08:00

wala na naman akong masabi.as if naman kasi may ikikwento akong kapana panabik ngayong araw na to.
teka..

nga pala, kagabi nataranta na naman ako..kasi sangkatutak na fire trucks ang dumaan sa pedro gil. mukhang may sunog na naman malapit samin. makikita ko na naman mamaya sa tv patrol. nawawala ako sa sarili ko pag nakakarinig ako ng mga palengkerang sirena na yan. swear! basta.

hindi pa din ako nakaka attend ng simbang gabi. pupunta kaya ko sa impyerno? ang gulo ng iskedyul ko. sakit sa ulo. nawala na yung pangako ko sa sarili ko na kumpletuhin ang siyam na araw. arrgg. im definitely going to hell *waahhh english?*

sa 28 na pla kasala ni mec..wala pa akong susuutin..masaya ako para kay mec. naalala ko pa, na blog ko na dati yang si mec. pinagtatawanan ko ung deadline nya sa pagpapakasal. aba biruin nyo, natuloy nga! amazing *arrrg english na naman*
excited ako makita syang naka gown.

amboring ng araw na to. hmpf.

aalis na ko bago batuhin pa ng kamatis tong blog ko. sensya na tao lang

yowch

2005-12-14T00:32:00.000-08:00

another boring day... lamig! la'ko magawa, so ym music ulit.
station: the big hits (sawa na ko sa adult alternative)

listen to your heart - d.h.t
come clean-hillary duff
1,2 step- ciara
lets go- trick daddy
fall to pieces- avril lavigne
obsession- frankie j *i super love this song*
untitled- simple plan
laffy taffy- d4l
my boo- usher alicia keys
im sprung - t-pain
here we go- trina
since uv been gone- kelly clarkson
slow jamz-twista

nawiwi na ko..bye!

yowch

2005-12-11T05:03:00.000-08:00

(photo borrowed from www.rockedphilippines.org hihi)

LIT
(by gang badoy)

I will never settle for a few
when most are within reach.
I have no interest in ‘okay.’

I will never confuse a fad
for commitment.
I will frustrate the cynics.

I have been stubborn when necessary.
I have been easy when offered collaboration.

I have lit fires.

i am a volunteer

2005-12-04T23:41:00.000-08:00

i can't wait for this year to end...2005 has become a year of deaths...people who are close to me, relatives, friends, even babies..haayy. enough already.
avid readers of this blog *there are a few of them lang hehe* , often tells me that i have a morbid online journal.. well its true actually. if i'm not posting an entry about a death of a loved one, about heartaches naman..or my failures..or about a sad movie..

don't get me wrong, i am a happy person. swear! asa personality ko lang talaga na ipress release sa buong blog world lahat ng nangyayari sa buhay ko. happy man or sad.

love me anyway...

i just finished reading "SIN" by f.sionil jose.. brilliant. just brilliant. i found myself feeling uncomfortable as i read carling cobello's sexcapades..with his sister..everyday, everynight, fornicating like bunnies. and don't get me started pa with his sexcapades with girls all over the world..or kahit sa whore house ng dad nya..or sa mga pretty nieces nya..talo pa si xerex magkwento. it didn't help pa na my mom goes in and out of the room while i was reading..parang nararamdaman nyang apektado ako sa binabasa ko haha..
basta..read it na lang. hindi lang naman puro sexcapades ni carling yung nandun. i liked delfin's character too..carling's son. i easily fell inlove with him..wish i could find someone like delfin. handsome, intelligent, responsible..though of course i didn't like the part when he got angela pregnant (his half sister for christ's sake!) and got caught in bed with corito (carling's sister and angela's mum!!!)..whew! taboo at its best..

Fix You - Coldplay
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you.

2005-11-28T04:48:00.000-08:00

i still can't believe you're gone..

i thought twas just some sick joke, when your niece told me you passed away.. :(

thank you for being a part of my life. thank you for comforting me when i was down
i still have the text message you last sent me.

wherever you are, i know u'r happy now, no more pains, no more sorrows..
i just wish i met you earlier.

2005-11-21T00:23:00.000-08:00

this is one of His favorite songs...

invisible-cley aiken
Whatcha doing tonight
I wish I could be
A fly on your wall
Are you really alone
Who's stealing your dreams

Why can't I breathe
You into my life
So tell me
What would it take
To make you see that I'm alive

If I was invisible
Then I could just
Watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell
You where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
Wait, I already am

Saw your face in the crowd
I call out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make

Wish I could read
What goes through your mind
Oh baby
Wish you could touch me
With the colors of your life

If I was invisible (Yeah)
Then I could just
Watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell
You where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
Wait, I already am

I'd make you mine tonight
(Invisible)
I'd make you mine tonight

I reach out
You don't even see me
(No you don't, No you don't)
Even when I scream out
Baby, you don't hear me
(You don'thear me)
I am nothing without you
Just a shadow passing through

Invisible
Invisible
Invisible

If I was invisible
(Yeah)
Then I could just
Watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
If I was invisible
If I was invisible
Wait, I already am

sleep well, you know who you are. mwah!

2005-11-12T00:25:00.000-08:00

wala akong magawa..thanks to my sister's celfone, im now officially a camera whore. love it!
have a great weekend y'all!

2005-11-07T01:43:00.000-08:00

tata sikat ka na! asa internet na ang lapida mo. ganyan kita kamiss at kamahal. hahaha.

my lil' camera whore, gelo went back to bicol na. i miss him terribly. wala na ko kasama manood ng spongebob.hmpf.

yowch

2005-10-31T08:55:00.000-08:00

tata,
i miss you. shmpre we went to ur puntod kanina. sori kung maingay kami. pero kesa mag iyakan kami noh? hehehe i took pics of your lapida..pero tamad pa mag upload ng pics si yamboy.

masaya ang day na to for me. dito ako sa novaliches matutulog. nag paiwan ako to bond with cuzins.

miss ka namin lahat. laki na ng mga babies mo. ang kukulit.

loveyah

gaget

2005-10-31T00:10:00.000-08:00

im typing this entry inside my cuzin yamboy's room.nooninooninoo..

also cam whoring with my sisters..fun fun fun.

we're off to holycross in a bit.

happy halloween y'all

2005-10-26T23:30:00.000-07:00

ok..so i'm setting aside my plans to be a politician..ahahaha lalo na pag napasa na ang anti-dynasty bill wahahaha

GENEALOGY, POLITICS AND HISTORY

Published in Cebu Daily News on June 2003
In 1898, Emilio Aguinaldo declared the Philippines an independent and sovereign state and became this nation’s first president.
A century plus three years later, his cousin, Gloria M. Arroyo, rose to the same position when Joseph Ejercito Estrada was toppled from power through the event known as People Power II. As it happened, Erap, too, was Gloria’s relative. In fact, in a complicated and Byzantine manner, almost all of our former leaders were related to one another, in one way or the other. Allow me to extrapolate.
Emilio Aguinaldo’s sister’s grandson was Cesar E.A. Virata, the first and only Prime Minster of the Republic of the Philippines.
The Virata family, through marriage, is connected with the Acu a family. One Acu a married a scion of the Roxas family. The product of this marriage was former President Manuel A. Roxas, whose son Gerry Roxas was a former Senator and whose grandson, Mar Roxas III is currently DTI secretary.
Also, due to his dalliance with Juanita McIlvain, former Miss Universe Margarita “Margie” Moran Floirendo just happens to be President Roxas’ granddaughter.
“President Manuel Roxas’s wife, Trinidad de Leon, was the daughter of former Senator Ceferino de Leon. Sen. De Leon’s brother, Jose, married to a Narcisa “Sisang” Buencamino, one of the most successful movie magnates in her time. Narcisa’s first cousin’s son was Philip Buencamino, who married Nene Quezon, daughter of President Manuel Luis Quezon.
Further, another scion of the Roxas family was Margarita Roxas, whose marriage to Antonio de Ayala produced Trinidad de Ayala. Trinidad later married Jacobo Zobel and started the legendary Zobel De Ayala family.
ARISTOCRATIC
Some of the minor branches of the Zobel de Ayala family married into the other aristocratic families of Manila. The Aranetas, Ayalas, Elizaldes, Prietos, and more. Through the Roxas family’s connection with the Aranetas, former Tourism Secretary and beauty queen Gemma Cruz-Araneta is also related to Pres. Roxas.
It must also be remembered that Gemma Cruz’s paternal great-grandmother was Doña Maria Rizal, the sister of our national hero, Jose P. Rizal.
Gemma Cruz’s mother, Carmen, remarried Mr. Angel Nakpil, the nephew of Julio Nakpil, composer of the Philippine National Anthem, who in turn was the husband of Gregoria De Jesus, the “Muse of the Katipunan.”
Gregoria de Jesus was also the widow of Katipunan founder Andres Bonifacio. Similarly, two of Gemma’s first cousins, Paz and Maria Cruz Banaad, married Bienvenido and Roberto Laurel, respectively, relatives of former Vice-President Salvador “Doy” Laurel, son of President Jose P. Laurel.
Two branches of the Araneta family further married presidential daughters; the first one being Juan Miguel Arroyo, whose second cousins are Aranetas.
He married then Ms. Gloria M. Macapagal, daughter of President Diosdado Macapagal. Of course, GMA is now the country’s Chief Executive. The second to marry a presidential daughter was Greggy Araneta who married Irene Romualdez Marcos, the youngest child of Ferdinand Edralin Marcos and Imelda Romualdez. The Araneta-Marcos marriage further stretches our already complicated family connections.
Ferdinand Marcos’ grandfather’s sister, Crispina Marcos, married Hilario Valdez. Their daughter, Angela Valdez, married Ambassador Narciso Ramos, father of Fidel V. Ramos, also a President of the Republic. Narciso Ramos, after becoming a widower, married Alfonsita Lucero, whose father’s maternal family, the Birondos of Argao, Cebu, married into the Almendras family of Cebu and Davao.
CEBU-DAVAO CONNECTION
Alfonsita’s fourth cousin, William Birondo, married Kukit Tecala, whose uncle, Pedro Tecala Sr., married Sofrina Almendras. Two of Sofrina’s siblings married into political families. Her brother, Paulo Almendras, married Elisea Durano, the daughter of Demetrio Durano and progenitor of the Durano family that has ruled Danao and Sogod, Cebu for many years.
A son of Paulo was former Senator Alejandro Almendras, whose marriage to a Bendigo of Davao City connected them to the ruling families of Davao: the Banggoys, Palma Gils, Lizadas, Nograleses and others. Senator Almendras’ brother, Josefino, married Rosita Dimataga, the sister of Leonila Dimataga, who in turn was the wife of President Carlos P. Garcia.
One of Sofrina’s sisters was married to an Osmeña, thus linking them to the family of President Sergio Osmeña. Most of President Osmeña’s male descendants have become senator, governor, mayor, Representative, and councilor at various points in time and his family remains the premier political dynasty of Cebu.
“President Osmeña’s half-sister was Doña Modesta Singson-Gaisano, the matriarch of the affluent Gaisano family of Cebu City.”
Imelda Romualdez’s marriage to Marcos also brought in many famous personalities.
Her own niece, Marean Romualdez, daughter of her brother Gov. Alfredo Romualdez, married Thomas Pompidou, the grandson of the French President Georges Pompidou.
Imelda’s first cousin, Senator Danieling Romualdez, married Pacita Gueco of Tarlac. In an ironic twist of fate, Pacita Gueco happened to be the first cousin of the late Sentor Benigno Aquino Jr.
Of couse, the Aquinos themselves have allied with many political families, and a scion of the Aquino clan was Senator Eva Estrada Kalaw, one of the Philippines’ very first female senators.
PRESIDENT CORY
Ninoy’s marriage to the heiress Corazon Cojuangco also allied his family to another political dynasty. Corazon Aquino, after her husband’s heroic death in 1983, later became the country’s first female Chief Executive. Her maternal family, the Sumulongs, have also produced several lawmakers. The Cojuangco family, on the other hand, owns one of the oldest-existing haciendas in the country today, and the Cojuangcos control many of the country’s business enterprises.
Cory’s niece, equestrienne Mikee Cojuangco, married Dodot Jaworski, son of basketball legend and Sen. Robert Jaworski. Senator Jaworski, on the other hand, married Susan Bautista Revilla, daughter of Sen. Ramon Revilla Sr., whose son Bong Revilla was a former governor. This connection, no doubt, extends this family tree to most of the country’s movie personalities.
Clearly, this Byzantine illustration of family connection is proof of the intricacies of Philippine politics. In this short presentation we have already linked no less than 12 of our 14 Presidents, one Prime Minister, one former Miss Universe, several senators and many other personalities, political or otherwise. We have even connected our “Philippine Family Tree” to a former French President! Imagine what further research into the other family trees could reveal?
Philippine politics, undoubtedly, is a family affair.

2005-10-26T07:58:00.000-07:00

i'm reposting this entry i made exactly on october 26, a year ago...
i can't say if "he's" the one for me na, but i'm super hoping that my search has finally come to an end..*fingers crossed*

october 26,2005

got this prayer thru email...prayer ko na to for myself

dear heavenly father,

i confess that i have not always been as careful as i should've been with my heart. from time to time, my desire for love has caused me to leave my heart in the wrong hands. i now commit my heart into your hands for safekeeping.
please help me to stop being so impulsive with what you deem so precious. as i learn to celebrate your love for me,let me learn from your example what a bridegroom should really be like. help me to never settle for less than what you desire for me.
as i embrace you as the lover of my soul, keep my affections in the haven of your own heart. as i rest in your love, make me more discriminating of those who approach me. i ask that you take over this area of my life. keep me from those you know would hurt my heart. i invite you to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who would draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to the mate that you have selected for me.
grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me.cleanse me from the temptation to typecast the men i meet according to what i see.help me to trust in your knowledge and lean not on my own understanding.i know that you know what is best for me, therefore,i yield to your choice. in jesus name

amen

i don't need a bunch of men in my life to make me feel alright about myself. i need only one man...my man, the one God has selected to select me. trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. so i trust God's timing in this. he is the ultimate matchmaker. i'll just have to relax, sit pretty and allow myself to be found...

love sucks club ba ulit? hahahahaha lech. bitter ito! hahahahaha

look what you've done

2005-10-24T22:48:00.000-07:00

hindi pa ba ko tapos mag rant tungkol sayo? arrggg... you're lucky. i could still find time to bust a nerve on you...arrggg ang wrinkles ko..
sayang tlga eh. sayang. i was talking to our common friend last night and he feels the same way. and tama ba namang di ka magpakita sakin for 2 consecutive meetings. .tpos kung kelan ka free, tanong ka ng tanong kung kelan ako pwede. lechugas. ako pa ba kelangan gumawa ng time para sayo. ako ba may atraso? goodness

howelll...

i had a great weekend. whew. yun lang. basta masaya!

last entry na to na ang topic ay ikaw. i'm moving on.

wag kayo papabasa sa ulan, byutiful pipol!

yowch

para sa kalbo

2005-10-18T23:33:00.000-07:00

kalbo,

a mohawk would be the perfect punishment... ikaw bahala. i don't care anymore. you just dented our friendship and i really have no idea if its gonna be the same again. ever. oh of course i'd still talk to you, go out on gimmicks with u and our friends..but to open myself up to you like i always did.. no way.
i just thought kasi, you know me well enough and that u'l never ever cross THE boundary... wow mali. guys will be guys.. forever and ever amen. *oh shit thats a super crazy thought*
i made a list a day before my 24th bday... 24 most favorite pipol in the whole world... you're on that list.. fucked up. yep.. this world is super fucked up.
i know you're sorry, and i'd like to commend you for coming clean, but it doesn't mean na abswelto ka na.. i know how to forgive. but i never forget. arrrrgggg.

sayang lang. love kita, love ko kayong lahat. sayang lang dahil nasira lahat in just one night.

yowch

yahoo music

2005-10-16T22:03:00.000-07:00

go online...yahoo messenger...yahoo music...station...adult alternative...PLAY

1pm - 4:30pm

cold- crossfade
long day- matchbox20
i'm feeling you- santana
i will remember you- sarah mclachlan
clarity- john mayer
losing grip- avril lavigne
down so long- jewel
photograph- nickelback
you and i both- jason mraz
moses-coldplay
bad day- daniel powter
anything- the calling
beautiful-avion
breakdown- jack johnson
how do you love- collective soul
everyday- dave matthews band
don't look back in anger- oasis
i've got a life- eurythmics
hello-evanescense
lucky man-the verve
build a bridge- the redwalls
wonderful- everclear
take it outside- barenaked ladies
my sacrifice- creed
big machine-goo goo dolls
follow me- uncle kracker
are you beautiful- chris pierce
looking at the world from the bottom of a well-mike doughty
love love love- tristan prettyman
radio- southland
its the nightmare-josh rouse
pills- the perishers
our last night- better than ezra
waiting(save ur life)- omnisoul
mission responsible- michael tolcher
ctwyl- pitty sing
good times- tommy lee
home- michael buble
she will be loved- maroon5
turn me on- norah jones
hand in my pocket- alanis morissette
how love should be- tyler hilton
best i ever had- vertical horizon
hearstopper-emiliana torrini
24-jem
if you're gone- matchbox20
i dont want to be-gavin degraw
possession- sarah mclachlan
she says- howie day

yan..yang ang song list ko for today..god bless yahoo.
i feel sooo much better now. sound trip lang ang kailangan.

have a great week ahead of u byutiful pipol!

yowch

2005-10-15T02:34:00.000-07:00

today is tata's (my lolo) birthday. haayyy i super miss him. ang weird ko last night, after praying, i hit the sack and waited...waited for what? i waited for him to show up..hehe or a sign from him man lang. ganun ko sya ka miss. im normally matatakutin sa mga ghosts or supernatural things..pero i really miss tata and i wana see him again. i didn;t have the chance to tell him how much i love him. howell..sumday we'll all be together...

happy birthday also to atty. mackee! hope you get a lot of good lovin' tonight *wink* wink*

enjoy ur weekend everyone! dont drink and drive and be SAFE *wink*

2005-10-14T04:53:00.000-07:00

happy birthday dadi abet. thank you for being patient with us *ang crew* yuhooo 38 ka na! labya...

happy 1st wedding anniversary to my bud JOWI and dondon. love you both! dylan's really lucky to have you two as her parents. god bless

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2005-10-06T02:42:00.000-07:00

its been a month since my last update..hahaha. dko pa maupload my new template kasi dko matapos tpos...arrrggg so tamad. so im using my old template again..geez

happy 18th bday to my sister , mia isabelle. labya. be good always!

DA CREW supports ROCKed pala...help us save the world! rak on! our new ad campaign's in the making nah..its gonna be super cool. watch out for it
L
i wana share this song to y'all... LSS ko sya actually shet. its by diana anaid from the album "beautiful obscene"

Last Thing

I'll stay away
Don't have to face this
It's my mistake
And no one's business

I am trying not to want to hurt him
Trying not to start this up again

He's in my way
And no surprises
It's been a day
Somehow survived it

Still I am trying not to want to hurt him
Trying not to start this up again

[Chorus]
It's the last thing that I need right now
Someone to bring me down
And I've got a rule that I've made up now he moved out
No way, no boys allowed
And there's a reason why I keep my distance
Don't think you're gonna understand
This is the last thing that I need right now

No need to stay
My choice, I made it
I keep away
Don't have to take it

'Cause I'm trying not to want to hurt him
Trying not to start this up again

[Chorus]

Don't need a boyfriend
Not one like him
Don't wanna be the foolish girl I was
And end up worse again
You can say it's from me
I'll be keeping away
Don't wanna be the same foolish girl again

I'll stay away
Don't have to face this
It's my mistake
And no one's business

I am trying not to want to hurt him
Trying not to start this up again

[Chorus]

2005-09-06T05:45:00.000-07:00

so busy...so ngarag..but still ridiculously byutiful. whooosaaaaaahhhhh.
update? soon!

take care y'all

2005-08-16T04:23:00.000-07:00

temporary template byutiful pipol!

yowch

love alone

2005-08-16T03:52:00.000-07:00

got nuthin to write about...hmmmm....gona share to y'all na ang this song na super lagi ko pinapakinggan lately...

yowch.

p.s
im working on my newest template..yehey. for the first time, ako gagawa lahat.naks. graphic artist kuno..yipiiiy. pakihintay na lang :)

Love Alone

No one would love me
if they knew all the things I hide
My words fall to the floor
As tears drip through the telephone line

And the hands I’ve seen raised to the sky
Not waving but drowning all this time
I'll try to build an ark that they need
To float to you upon the crystal sea

*Give me your hand to hold
'Cause I can't stand to love alone
And love alone is not enough to hold us up
We've got to touch your robe
So swing your rope down low
Swing your rope down low

The prince of despair's been beaten
But the loser still fights
Death's on a long leash
Stealing my friends to the night

And everyone cries for the innocent
You say to love the guilty too
And I'm surrounded by suffering and sickness
So I'm working tearing back the roof

Repeat *

And the pain of the world is a burden
And it's my cross to bear
And I stumble under all the weight
I know you're Simon standing there
And I know you're standing there

borgy loves me

2005-08-10T01:17:00.000-07:00

WARNING: ang sumusunod na entry ay galing sa kaloob looban at kaibuturan ng aking baliw na puso...yebah. jologs to. wala lang ako masulat. love me anyway...

dear borgy beybe..

naglalaway pa din ako sa mga billboards mo, hinayupak ka...may nagigising na kung anong ka-ek ekan sa aking kaloob-looban...dun din lumalakas ang kutob ko na...dyuskopo..babae nga talaga ako.. yowchnaalala mo ba nung una tyong magkita? ahihihi....asa podium ako nun,mag isang humihigop ng mocha frappe sa may window overlooking ther driveway..tpos bglang huminto ang isang limo...limo nga ba un? bsta hot car...nway..lumabas ka bgla...taena! diyos ka ba??? sum kinda greek god? aylabyu borgy. nakasuot ka nun ng black suit..na unti unti kong hinuhubad sa aking utak habang napapabilis ang sipsip ko sa mocha frap aaggg brain freeze pumutok bigla ang thought balloon ko nang lumabas din ng car si sarah meiers , na ex gf mo na ngayon... para akong pinagtaksilan.niloko.pinaasa...tpos bgla akong binatukan ng kunsensya ko... timang! diyos sya...isa ka lamang mangmang.. hahaha huminto ang paligid...sa yo lang nakatuon ang atensyon ko..dko man lang napansin na dumating na ung hinihintay kong kaibigan...toinks! back to reality..
malahay kita borgy...hindi man ako kasing ganda nila sarah at ni ornussa cadness, pero may dimples ako...kaya kitang patawanin. kung gsto mo english jokes pa ideliver ko..maitindihan mo lang..isasakripisyo ko ang lahat para sayo. isusuko ko ang pagkababae ko. hinding hindi kita gagamitin..ang pera mo..lalo na ang pangalan mo...anakan mo lang ako beybe...kahit bingot..kahit kuba, kahit bungal...kahit walang mukha! basta magkaanak lang tyo..at magsama ng matiwasay sa boracay habang dini-dreadlocks ang isat isa...
ayaw ko mang mangyari pero nangyari na nga..nagseselos na si dennis trillo dahil mas mahal kita. ano ba magagawa ko? eh mas ma appeal ka kesa sa knya..but i love him just the same.. kung wala tlgang pag asa ang pag iibigan natin..papakasal ako kay dennis.
naiintindihan mo ba? nagpapaka jologs ako para sayo...hindi pa ba enuf to para ireciprocate mo ung love na ibinibigay ko sayo?
demmit

love,
gaget

p.s
pwede mo bang ibaba pa ng konti ung zipper mo dun sa billboard mo sa may quirino? konti lang...pls? madalas kasi magtraffic dun...nabobore ako.kaya sige na, show me some skin.

bente kwatro

2005-08-01T00:48:00.000-07:00

bente kwatro

i turned 24 yesterday. the whole world celebrated with me... di nyo napansin? wawa naman kayo. twas fun. didn't expect it would turn out great. last saturday i met up with friends at side bar in el pueblo,ortigas...then after an hour, met up with my AA and dmc friends at 90proof. madami hindi nakapunta pero madami din andun. masaya pa din. 130am i trasferred to pier 1 meralvo ave with timmy and mike to be with the side bar people.buti hinatid ako pauwi sa cavite kasi kakatamad na magcommute..and hello..bday ko! dapat nila ko ihatid hahaha thanks to kalbo and timmy. such great friends. yebah

sunday, 31... nagpunta lang ng mall with my family. bought 2 kick ass blouses (sale eh!) and had dinner then went home. i left my celfone sa bahay so pag uwi ko naguumapaw ng text at miskols ang fone ko..oh diba..celeb! haha

wala na kong masabi...

i miss him. bukas pa kami magkikita..howell.all good.

ako'y tutula, hindi mahaba

2005-07-27T22:34:00.000-07:00

i wrote this poem last april 25...para kanino? wag ka na....basahin mo na lang. hahaha gsto ko lang ishare...pero hindi ako sad ha...

pagod ka na ba?
magsumbong sa mga tala?
o sumabay sa ulan
para di makita ang iyong luha

hayaan mong pawiin ng hangin
ang bawat patak
umasang ang hinanakit mo'y
palitan ng galak

ibulong mo sa buwan
na ingatan sya para sayo
o makiusap sa araw
na wag na kayong magtagpo

kahit naong gawin mo
kahit anong dasal
iikot pa din ang mundo
kahit di ka na nya mahal

pero malay mo
pag gising mo bukas
bubulungan ka ng diyos
matatanggap mo rin sa wakas...

wala po syang title...dko maisip kung anong bagay eh..
howell...

im out.

baboosh

kareen's bday

2005-07-26T23:52:00.000-07:00

4days to go before my birthday...sensha na wala akong masulat ngayon. hahaha

it's my bestfriend kareen's birthday pala...sorry. haha sama.

yun lang

baboosh

2005-07-26T01:03:00.000-07:00

got this from AJ...

three names you go by:
1. margret
2. gaget
3. gags

three screen names you have had:
1. mibehavin
2. firewoman
3. yookikikoo

three physical things you like about yourself:
1. eyes
2. lips
3. hhmmmmmm

three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. tummy
2. thighs
3. arms

three parts of your heritage:
1. Filipino
2.
3.

three things that scare you:
1. monsters under my bed
2. blood
3. dark alleys

three of your everyday essentials:
1. cellphone
2. money
3. lip balm

three of your favorite musical artists:
1. Hale
2. tori amos
3. barbie almabis

three of your favorite songs:
1. when i see you smile
2. you first believed
3. the day you said goodnight

three things you want in a relationship:
1. love
2. trust
3. communication

three lies and truths in no particular order:

lies:
1. im a very quiet person
2. I hate singing
3. i dont drink

truths:
1. I don't smoke
2. I am byutiful
3. I'm bad at dancing

three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. eyes
2. body
3. lips
three of your favorite hobbies:
1. singing
2. reading
3. watching movies alone

three things you want to do really badly now:
1. stay online for hours
2. see my friends
3. movie marathon

three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. architecture
2. being a stand up comedian/sing along master hehehe
3. graphic artist

three places you want to go on vacation:
1. iloilo
2. vigan
3. hawaii

three kid's names you like:
1. natalie
2. meg
3. tom

three things you want to do before you die:
1. have kids
2. magkaron ng concert haha
3. own a videoke machine (as in ung hinuhulugan ng coins)

three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. Im iyakin
2. I love earrings!
3. most of the time, naka skirt ako hehe

three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. most of my friends are guys
2. i get attracted to girls
3.

three celeb crushes:
1. colin farrel
2. borgy manotoc
3. johnny depp

Tag 3 bloggers:
1. delisyus
2. necromancer
3. donna

destiniy fulfilled

2005-07-23T04:25:00.000-07:00

DESTINY FULFILLED....

8 days before my birthday... happy? hmmm...define happy....blech. well...i am loved by the most adorable creature on earth hahaha, i have the greatest friends, work's always tiring but i'm not complaining, i haven't lost weight yet but i'm still damn BYUTIFUL (pagbigyan nyo nako...), my earrings collection is increasing nonstop (ehem....gifts gifts....) :p , and i have the most understanding family in the whole world. life is byutiful.

when was the last time i cried? after watching "if only" last wed with him. haha mushy ampotah. i kept repeating to him jennifer love's line "i don't wanna be adored, i wanna be loved" yebah. also the creepy taxi driver's dialogue "just appreciate her..." NAMAN! the movie ended beautifully pero sad. hmpf. howell....it's still a movie worth watching over and over again.

hala wala nako masabi...basta maganda pa rin ako. ok? wala na pala akong flobble hahaha napabayaan ko dko naupdate.lechugas. nyemas. taragis.

2005-06-16T23:20:00.000-07:00

school dance...

a thick concealer covered the dark circles under my eyes the result of a long weekend of rehearsals for the school musical and lack of sleep. i followed my bestfriend through the crowd of familiar faces, allowing myself to be hauled through the masses of teenage boys who smelled as if they bathed in cologne.
as we finally reached our friends, a slow song began.i watch with amusement as my classmates darted frantically through the crowd,seacrhing for someone to dance with,when my gaze met a pair of byutiful eyes...
a boy few inches taller than I approached and asked me to dance.i nodded and put my arms around his neck,studying the faces of my friends as they inspected him. after receiving the thumbs up from my friends, i learned his name was vincent. i noticed he frequently laughed, and when he did, his eyes twinkled.
for the rest of the evening, i danced only with him.somtimes, asking questions. other times, just resting my head on his shoulder, feeling surprisingly comfortable.at the end of the night he thanked me for a fun time and disappeared into the crowd.
the rest of the weekend i wondered about the mysterious stranger. after a week of nonstop rehearsals, i found myself home before dinner on a monday,as i lay sprawled on my bed,attempting to solve a geometric equation, my mom knocked on the door and handed me the phone. i took a deep breath murmered "hello". an unexpectedly deep voice responded. 'hi this is vincent from the dance. your fried gave me your number"
moments later we were talking like old friends. although the conversation was short,i knew it would be first of many.vincent and i spoke on the fone every night.although our skeds made it difficult to see each other.
to make it short, we ended up together.each morning when the rays of sunshine streamed into my room,i opened my eyes to a promise of a new day that would be wonderful because i was loved.even when i felt unappreciated after a long tiring day at school, the thought of his byutiful eyes glowing with earnest compassion and love reminded me that life was wonderful.
almost 8 years had passed since my first dance and i still can remember the twinkle in his eyes..
today, june 17, is his 5th death anniversary..wherever you are, i hope you're happy for me and i'm missing you terribly.

this used to be our song..

When I See You Smile

Somtimes I wonder
How I ever make it through
Through this world wuthout having you
I just wouldn't have a clue
And sometimes it seems
Like this this world's closing on me
And there's no way of breaking free
Then I see you reach out for me, ohhhhh

Sometimes I wanna give up
Wanna give in
Wanna quit the fight
Then one look at you baby
Can make everything alright
Make everything alright

Chorus:

When I see you smile
I can face the world
Ohhh, you know that I can do anything
When I see you smile
I see a ray of light
Ohhh, I see shining right through the rain
When I see you smile
Baby when I see you smile at me

Verse 2:

Baby there's nothing in this world I can ever do
What a touch of your hands can do
It's like nothing I ever knew
Ohhh, and when the rain is fallin
I feel it
Cuz your hear with me
And one look at you baby
Is all I ever need
Is all I ever need, ohhhhhhhhh

Chorus

Sometimes I wanna give up
Wanna give in
Wanna quit the fight
Then one look at you baby
Can make everything alright
Make everything alright
Ohhh, baby

2005-06-15T22:35:00.000-07:00

miss na ko ng mga fans ko...wait lang byutiful pipol! im like super tamad pa para mag update hahaha...love me anyway

yowch

2005-04-19T03:01:00.000-07:00

1.who's picture you keep on your wallet?
---> 2 pics.
pictyur of me with Tata and pic of me and my friends in bangkok

2. what time do you go to bed?
--->3am

3. what was the last thing you did before u filled
this up?
---> manic posting sa mtc

4. who's the person you're gonna call if you need
help?
---> hmmm

5. what's on your mind now?
---> food

6. who's number on your speed dials?
---> dad's number

7. with whom do you wanna be to have fun?
---> aa, dmc

8. when was the last time you went out?
---> 2 fridays ago

9. what do you hate the most for now?
---> not being able to go out every weekend...

10. what do you wanna do for now?
---> meet my friends and drink

12. what do you do for everyday besides eat and
sleep?
---> watch tv

13. what pisses you off?
---> internet connection na mabagal hehe

14. fave pet?
---> misty and kobe

15. what are the colors that make you happy?
---> pink

16. most fave thing in your room?
---> glow in he dark stars on my ceiling

17. what was the last thing you bought for your
room?
---> glow in the dark stars

18. any instruments in your room?
---> guitar

19.do you cook?
---> yep

20. are you satisfied with your life now?
---> pwede na...nabubuhay pa nman kahit papano :p

2005-04-18T03:50:00.000-07:00

wala akong masabi. pero masaya ako. went to the mall with my family kanina. wala lang...hay amboring ng kwento ko.

have a great week ahead byutiful pipol

yowch

2005-04-17T04:10:00.000-07:00

"..when nobody hears you scream, i'll scream with you. you'll be safe here.."

2005-04-15T03:34:00.000-07:00

he wrote a song about me... *sigh* nooninooninooninoo...

*keepin' my fingers crossed..*

anyway...got this from friendster:

. TWO NAMES YOU GO BY:
- margret
- gaget

2. TWO THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT
YOURSELF:
- too emotional
- too friendly :p

3. TWO FAVORITE PARTS OF YOUR BODY:
- eyes
- lips

4. TWO THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
- rejection
- monsters under my bed *nooninooninooninoo*

5. TWO THINGS U NEED EVERYDAY
- love
- food hehe

6. TWO OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS @
THE MOMENT:
- here withouut you (3 doors down)
- only one (yellowcard)

7. TWO PERSONS YOU SPEND TIME
WITH THE MOST THIS DAY:
- mom
- houseboy :D

8. TWO OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
- reading books
-watching movies alone

9. TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO REALLY BUY
RIGHT NOW:
- lotsa books
- car!

10. TWO CAREERS YOU'RE
CONSIDERING:
- architect
- stand up comedian :P

11. TWO PLACES YOU WOULD GO ON
VACATION THIS SUMMER:
- beach with friends and...
- hmmm cavite! *i've never been there.." nyahaha

12. TWO OF YOUR FAVOURITE
PERSONS: (except family members)
- jowi
- ivy

13. TWO THINGS YOU DID YESTERDAY:
- watched cartoons (hey arnold,as told by ginger,wild thornberries,spongebob)
- pigged out with my sisters

14. TWO PERSONS THAT YOU MISS A
LOT?
- wren
- jowi

15. TWO FOODS THAT YOURE CRAVING TO
EAT?
- sbarro's white pizza
- 90proof's nachos

16. TWO FAVORITE SUBJECTS IN
HS/COLLEGE:
- history of architecture
- professional practice

17. TWO OF YOUR FUNNIEST MEMORIES IN
COLLEGE?
- thesis nights with jowi and ivy
- sagada trip
18. TWO PERSONS THAT COMES TO
YOUR MIND NOW?
- wren
-ella

19. TWO ELEMENTARY FRIENDS YOU
LIKE TO SEE RIGHT NOW?
- johannah
-kareen

20. TWO COLORS YOU LIKE?
- pink
- black

21. TWO COLLEGE FRIENDS YOU
WANT TO TALK TO?
- jowi
- ivy

22. TWO THINGS YOU'VE BEEN WANTING TO
DO
- drive my own car
- start my own firm

23. TWO OF YOUR FAVORITE HANG OUTS?
-90 proof
-ferrule

24. TWO FAVORITE PERFUMES?
- victoria's secret
- johnsons baby cologne :D

25. TWO THINGS YOU WOULD DO AFTER THIS?
- cook dinner
- watch koreanovelas nyahaha

2005-03-18T05:49:00.000-08:00

blah blah blah blah blah
yada yada yada yada yada

haba ng sinulat ko nabura lang lahat..

'taragis

2005-03-17T01:55:00.000-08:00

i'm workin on a new lay-out..yipeee...maybe after holyweek ok na.

my dad's back from cebu!

katamad pa magpost..bukas na lang...

...habang nagmumuni muni the other night..i hear this song. wala lang. nice song lang. di ako nakakarelate! hahaha baka magreact na namn ang mga friends ko..sasabihin malungkot na namn ako...hahaha

yowch

I Can't Make You Love Me"

Turn Down The Light
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close
Don't patronise
Don't patronise

'Cause i can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something that it won't
Here in the dark in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And i feel the power
But you won't, no you won't

'Cause i can't make you love me if you don't
I'll close my eyes, then i won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Mornin' will come and i'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And i will give up this fight

'Cause i can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something that it won't
Here in the dark in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And i feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause i can't make you love me if you don't

2005-03-16T01:24:00.000-08:00

sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me...
-old saying, old lie

toughest lesson i learned was that life doesn't come with erasers.i couldn't make something that had happened, not happen.even imagination is powerless.we tell ourselves it takes more time to send someone over the edge...maybe so, maybe not..but there are no erasers.

(i hope he's happy.he deserves it.in many ways, i think he helped shape me, helped me learn how to accept the side of myself i refused to see)

2005-03-05T23:21:00.000-08:00

i search to find
i push the dark away
i trod down countless paths
and on the brightest day
i found my truest self

yowch

ouch

2005-03-05T21:45:00.000-08:00

meron akong bagong friend. and i love him dearly. he's pretty special...and isa sa mga poems na napost ko dito para sa kanya. anyway..madalas kami magkausap. puyatan. usap lang tungkol sa mga buhay buhay.thanks to sun cellular. tipid.
so ayun nga, this guy, he's like one of the nicest people i've ever come across. kaya pag may nasasabi sya sakin na di ako sang ayon, sobrang apektado ako. like what he said to me lastnight (kaninang madaling araw pala 4am).. mas lalo mo lang pinatunayan yung mga sinasabi mo kagabe *kung ano man yun diko isishare dito kasi ayoko* sinabe nya sakin yun harap harapan, habang sobrang intoxicated ako sa alcohol. ouch. yun lang masasabi ko. gsto ko man magexplain, na judge nako agad. so what's the use of explaining pa. hindi rin nman ako papaniwalaan. *feeling ko lang*
gusto ko sabihin sayo na sobrang nasaktan ako sa sinabe mo. and iniyakan ko yun. *howell iyakin nman tlga ko*
punyeta..i hate this feeling. coming from him, lakas tlga ng impact sakin yung nasabi nya. ayun...i asked him to call me but he didn't.

alam kong mababasa nya to, sana isipin mo lang lagi yung binasa ko sayo dati. *yung may superman ek ek* and everytime na maaalala mo yun, isipin mo na kahit may magawa man ako na hindi mo gusto, never kong sinadya or sasadyain na sumama loob mo sakin. mahal kita. kasi kaibigan kita. and lately, ang saya saya ng buhay ko kasi anjan ka.

gising na. turn on ur pc tapos patugtugin mo yung dancing in the moonlight.

2005-02-23T05:51:00.000-08:00

today
i loved you,
simply out of selfishness
i was sick of myself
and everyone else
who i had been with for too long,
so long i could not remember .
and so i loved you
because you are different from
all the others i had known
because of your boldness,
your mind liek the ocean.
it was as though i was
stepping on swords,
as i tried to tame
your wild instincts
silently.
i screamed your name
but you were blinded by
your own exotic ways,
more exciting than my own.
and tomorrow,
where will we be tomorrow?
in the same staring square,
like plastic game pieces landing
where the board says, "go back"
like those stupid games that
keep kids entertained for hours.
for hours i have been chasing you,
how misleading your eyes can be,
you smile,
as i try to tame
your wild instincts
i realized that i had loved you
simply out of selfishness.

2005-02-21T04:40:00.000-08:00

tao po

kumatok ako kanina
di' mo binuksan
bukas na lang sabi mo
dahil madami ka pang pasan

kumatok akong muli
binuksan mo sa wakas
ngunit biglang umihip ang hangi
pagsara nito'y kay lakas

pagbalik ko kinabukasan
nakakandado na ito
ako'y napasandal
at mga luha'y tumulo

sabi mo bumalik ako
baka sakaling andun ka
andito na'kong muli
papapasukin mo na ba?

yowch

walang basagan ng trip hihi

2005-02-20T05:31:00.000-08:00

Dare You To Move

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everyone's here
Everybody's watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next
What happens next

[Chorus]
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

[Chorus]

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right where you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself?
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here

I dare you to move
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened
Today never happened before

2005-02-19T05:46:00.000-08:00

i was talking to a friend awhile ago...wala lang. basta. katamad magkwento ng mahaba...basta to make it short..sanity and madness were mixed in a single episode..ganun!

sharing her pain, i sat down and came up with some unhappy conclusions: life is never comforting. we believe it is an oasis of hope but it never is. truth is as fleeting as the air that blows. winter is forever and there will be a perfect summer. for as long as there is life, pain will always exist..hmpf

2005-02-17T23:28:00.000-08:00

my bestfriend, jowi gave birth last wednesday...ansungit sungit after manganak! hahaha anyway..hindi pa rin nagsisink in sakin na nanay na sya..parang kelan lang..gusTO ko na rin tuloy magka baby..lech haha.

presenting.. DYLAN JOHANNA

hehe papatulan ko na rin..since asa list pala ako ni mec at miss daw nya ko...

Random 10 Songs:

as we kiss- session road
i believe- blessed union of souls
underneath it all- no doubt
soon- moonpools and caterpillars
alone - heart
if i believe- patti austin
blurry - puddle of mud
today - smashing pumpkins
landslide- dixie chicks
i touch myself - the divinyls

What is the total amount of music files on your computer?

hmmm...around 2000 songs ata yun..

The last CD you bought?

hala di ko na maalala..pwede bang vcd ng friends? hehe

Five songs you listen to a lot or mean a lot to you:
anhirap!

i believe- blessed union of souls
kahit na - bridge
firewoman- hungry young poets
eager angels - session road
you'll be safe here- rivermaya

Who are you going to pass this stick to?
(1) kuya joy- bagay sa kanya tong mga questionnaires na to eh hehe
(2) lorrie kasi mahilig din sya magpost ng kung ano anong songs
(3) trina kasi tekila twin ko sya hehe

2005-02-16T23:15:00.000-08:00

confessions of a 23yr old,archiTORTURED, shy virgin...

i'm margret, single, anti social. i've never been in a relationship, never had any carnal thoughts, never been kissed, never been touched. i swear! *grounds shaking* but who cares? i'm still young, i have all the time in the world..and oh, i don't smoke...yech and i don't drink. but i have a lot of alcoholic friends. and i love em all, though i always turn them down pag inaaya nila ako uminom. it's bad for the health kaya! kulog

i've never been in love. never pa na-heart broken...never pa umiyak sa isang lalaki, never pa nabaliw sa pag ibig...hindi ako iyakin..hindi ako mahilig magsenti..wala akong journal kung san sinusulat ko yung mga pasakit ko sa buhay..never pa ko gumawa ng tula para sa taong mahal ko..never pa ko nag sacrifice ng kahit anong bagay para sa pag ibig..never akong naging bitter..tska hello, bakit ako magiging bitter?

hahaha

nakaconcentrate lang ako sa field na pinili ko, architorture. at ang kapalit, tinalikuran din ako..hmpf. pero hello, perfect ko na ang pag drawing ng straight line and hindi ko na nakakalimutan maglagay ng fire exit..naalala ko, i was on the fone with a frien of mine..some 4years ago ata yun...or 5..i told him "shucks, nakalimutan ko ilagay fire exit! teka revise ko lang. kol you again"
yun pala narinig ng lolo ko, 4am na kasi un, dko alam gising na pla sya. kaya lagi na nya sakin pinapaalala yung fire exits pag may bago akong plate...isa yan sa mga namimiss ko kay tata.. who passed away last year

so ayun nga...mahiyain ako, hindi ako maingay, hindi ako taklesa, CULTURED ako joey pahiram
wala lang ako masulat. ang hindi maniwala..sasara ang keps. or mababaog, or kakalat ang sex video.

yowch

2005-02-13T04:53:00.000-08:00

potah i miss my blog....dami na nangyari...pero next time na ko mag update ng todo..soul searching mode pa ko kuno...
iwanan ko kayo ng isang joke...

lalaki: miss, pwede makipagkilala?ano pangalan mo?
babae: carme, kasi mahilig ako sa car at sa men. eh ikaw ano name mo?
lalaki: PEPE

pucha nagiging korni ang mga tao pag windang noh?

yowch!

2005-01-17T00:37:00.000-08:00

camera whore

nuff said... hahaha love me anyway

2005-01-14T16:11:00.000-08:00

featuring...GELO, baby GABE, EDRIC and KIRK.

happy new year y'all.

2004's over...tara..let's reminisce
my bestfriends wedding
necky gave birth to baby JANS!
ogie came home from canada.
cley and i parted ways.. &dagger;
became BRIDGE's certified groupie..haha
bestfriend jonah's 4th yr in canada..waaah!!
still an ALCOHOLISTA and lovin every minute of it..
jing and mike got tired of each other.. wahahaha
after 4 years..bestfriend ivy and ted broke up..then dairy took his place. yebah
met the wonderful DMC family
my first time in bataan. labeettt!
tres kepyas was born...nyahaha
dadi abet, mike, timmy and i, invaded baguio
AA's first birthday at bistro110 makati
one of my favorite AA byobs. at miguel's place, march 04' i miss toti and peaches na
di ko na crush si poki..nyahaha

whew...
too bad i won't be spending 2005 with loved ones i lost last year...but i'm sure they're happy where they are now.. &heart;

i wanna say thanks, to all of you who helped me make it through 2004 hehe. thank you for proving to me that there is hope out there..and thank you for giving some of it to me.
i'm gonna end this entry by leaving you a certain post by mama lips sa thread ni alvin..
i meant to share with you earlier a line from the movie "Always" which Richard Dreyfuss' chraracter mouths as his spirit is talking to his girlfriend (Holly Hunter) who is somewhat oblivious to his presence. He says something to the effect of, "The love we hold back is the greatest and perhaps only real pain that follows you in death."
While I am in so much pain now, I know it is because I miss Clancy and not because we both held back on each other. Am proud to say that I love the life we had, I love the love we shared -- we loved each other so well. Maybe in my case that is what makes it very painful, the fact that I had it so good and now I have to be severed from that goodness momentarily.
And for all my circuitous rambling, I want to tell you that you should go and love whom you love. Don't go through life wishing you had done something about it rather than nothing. The one we love is always worth our love even if people around us think otherwise..

have a blessed day beautiful people..

the wonder of life never fails, when you believe

2004-12-29T02:14:00.000-08:00

balik ka na...miss na kita :(

2004-12-21T22:49:00.000-08:00

may there always be work for your hands to do
may your purse always hold a coin or two
may the sun always shine on your windowpane
may a rainbow be certain to follow each rain
may the hand of a friend always be near you
may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you

merry christmas everyone

2004-12-19T01:06:00.000-08:00

Panginoon, turuan Mo ako maging bukas-palad
Turuan Mo akong maglingkod sa Iyo
Na magbigay nang ayon sa nararapat
Na walang hinihintay mula sa 'Yo

Nang makibakang di inaalintana
Mga hirap na dinaranas
Sa tuwina'y magsumikap na hindi humahanap
Ng kapalit na kaginhawaan
Na 'di naghihintay kundi ang aking mabatid
Na ang loob Mo'y siyang sinusundan

i love this song...nagsimbang gabi ako kanina with ella sa Albang Town Center and the choir sung this song...naalala ko nung kasali pa ko sa choir, lagi ko gsto kanthain sa mass to. almost 8 years ako sa choir..and everytime na naririnig ko to, kinikilabutan ako.

wala pa akong absent sa simbang gabi..sana tuloy tuloy na..

6 days before xmas, beautiful people!

2004-12-14T23:58:00.000-08:00

i'm writng about you.i'm smiling just thinking. can you remember the day we first met? you were pretty frward and honest; i admired that. there are a lot of fake people in this world. you were real to me, and riht off the bat, i loved you for that. you encouraged me, challenged me to speak my mind. i had been hiding behind them, and you, being the perceptiveindividual you are, saw right through me.i became vulnerable to you and you to me, but we didn't take advantage of each other, as some people might.
sometimes, when i'm walking down the street,i wonder how people will see me.our world is composed of stereotypes - each person carries his or her views like a shield.isn't it funny how people are afraid of differences?but when we're together, i never wondered what people thought.it just didn't matter.
life is sweet.but of course, as there always is a silver lining, there can also be a thunderstorm. that makes me cry...at night.i'm glad that we have not let them win. isn't it funny how people can take something as simple and beautiful as love and turn it into a struggle? i can honestly that i would gladly repeat all those nights i cried myself to sleep. a friendship like yours is worth more than any of that..much much more.

after i left

2004-12-14T01:42:00.000-08:00

after i left

i never told you what happened after i left, did i?i knew i was never gonna see you again. it really didn't matter, anyway.i didn't know what i was feeling. was i supposed to be sad? was i supposed to be happy?the only feeling i had was uncertainty.
it had been raining. i could still feelthe moisture in the air, but the clouds were gone.i'm feeling miserable...remind me again...what the hell happened?
i saw a man approaching me and asked for the time.i didn't have a watch so i told him i didn't know. maybe he was feeling the way i was.i wanted to ask him what he felt. i wanted to ask him if we could talk. baliw haha. but i just continued walking without another word.i watched people as they pass by, mothing was interesting or unique about them.
when i reached home, i put on my cd player, "HURT" by 9inch nails was playing. i wondered if it were appropriate for the mood i was in. no, it didn't fit. i wasn't that upset. you we're gone and i had to move on, or else i would be caught up in another deppresion. you weren't worth being that sad. you didn't affect me that much.i smiled at the thought. my mom always said that i was too easily influenced and i didn;t have a mind of my own. i proved her wrong this time.it made me happy to prove my mom wrong.
i didn't cry when i left, knowing i'd never see you again.i will never cry for you...again.

yowch

2004-12-13T01:04:00.000-08:00

glass

i am glass,
crashing and
meeting the ground.
i have slipped
from you grip

i am free
in a split second
my soul is finally alive.
i am no possession of yours

if you try to come and claim me
you will have to tread
on the shards of memory
and bleed in remembrance

there will be no glass
just little bits of crystal
that when you look closer,
you will see yourself

and the truth...what you have become

yowch

2004-12-10T00:32:00.000-08:00

to the monster under my bed

hell is filled with people like you. isa kang manyak. hindi mo alam kung gano mo nadungisan ang pagkatao ko and ng kaibigan ko. para kang walang asawa. mataas ang tingin namin sayo, taena. ang sama, pero gusto ko masira buhay mo. maawa ka sa pamilya mo.

ang sarap ng pakiramdam na finally, nabuhos ko lahat ng galit sayo. nung gabing yun, gusto kita sampal sampalin...pero ang nagawa ko lang ay ang umiyak sa harap mo at ng mga kaibigan "natin". pasko na, naninira ka pa rin ng buhay. hinding hindi na ko matatakot pa. para sakin, burado kana. makakatulog na ko ng maayos. ikaw...sana makatulog ka pa rin ng mahimbing

merry christmas

2004-12-02T23:42:00.000-08:00

do they know it's christmas?

1: It's Christmas time
There's no need to be afraid
At Christmas time
We let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty
We can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world
At Christmas time

2: But say a prayer
Pray for the other ones
At Christmas time it's hard
But when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window
And it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing
Is the bitter sting of tears
And the Christmas bells that ring
There are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you

Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time
Feed the world
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

3: And there won't be snow in Africa
This Christmas time
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life
Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time again

BRIDGE:
(Here's to you) raise a glass for everyone
(Here's to them) underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's Christmas time at all?

END: Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmas time

END: (repeat & fade)

2004-11-23T21:27:00.000-08:00

startalk, getting married, bonnets, and my beautiful friends

two saturdays ago, I got a text from my friend DICAY ( 8of0rbs) while I was watching STARTALK, featuring MAHAL and her so-called fiancé, Ian. She said if mahal can find herself a guy willing to marry her, for whatever God-forsaken reason, I am confident that I have a chance at getting hitched one these days I laughed out loud. Pareho pala kami ng pinapanood. We are so bored. Anyways...i replied “ and Mec too! Haha taena, hirap ng walang ginagawa, pinapatulan ang startalk!”
what the fuck’s wrong with mahal anyway? Hahaha. First it was the fruity Jimboy, then Kiro from Masculados, tapos yung Ian naman. And what is it with guys and bonnets????? Jimboy and Ian always wears a bonnet, my friend AJ, naka bonnet sa avatar nya, si REY din…si JOEY, nalungkot nung nawala yung favorite nyang bonnet…haha. Kung seryoso nga yung Ian na pakasalan si mahal…goodluck. Lalo na sa sexlife nila…unless gusto lang mag artista nung Ian kaya dumidikit sha sa mahaba ang hair na si Mahal…men!Bakit pa kasi nagmamadali magpakasal ang mga tao. Etong si Mahal, ni hindi nga maalagaan ang sarili, magpapakasal pa. Rubbish.

Pag pinag-uusapan ang marriage, first person that comes to my mind is my new bespren, Mec. Sha lang yung gurl na kilala ko na may deadline kung kelan sha magpapakasal. Last year, she told me she’ll be getting hitched this december…eh hindi sya nagka boyfriend, so naurong ulit. She wants to get married before she turns 30 daw. She just turned 28 last October 4. The clock is ticking Mec! Hahaha minsan tinutukso ko sya sa thread ng AA, hindi dapat Delisyus yung nick nya…dapat DELIRIOUS. Kasi naman, may deadline na sya, pero wala pa syang boyfriend. And if ever magka BF sya ngayon, and gsto nya magpakasal next December, I think it’s too early pa. Ya think? Howell…kung san sya masaya. Parang si Jowee ko. she met Don2x November last year, sa FRIENDSTER!!! and they got married October 10 this year. Pag ebeg nga naman.

When Cley and I were still together, he proposed to me and even asked for my Dad’s permission. Yep, naexperience ko magsuot ng engagement ring…tapos we broke up..bye bye engagement ring…bye bye Cley. I was too young to get married pa naman daw. Why did I even entertain the idea anyway? Love made me do it. Ano pa nga ba. Hahaha. Let’s talk about my other friend naman, Vicky. Allergic sa kasal yun. Pero she’s very much inlove with kuya Richard. According to her…”masarap magtampisaw sa karagatan ng kasalanan”. Baliw talaga yun. Pero I loved that line as in.

Men and women, malamang when it comes to marriage, magkaiba yung views nila. Women fall inlove and get married. Men decide to get married and then look for a wife. Note the difference in order. So if a guy says he’s not looking for anything serious, take his words seriously. If he is not going your direction, get off the bus and wait for the right one. Diba? Hehe

Pero…when will waiting for the one be done anyway? Yowch……

2004-11-12T03:42:00.000-08:00
I dont expect you to give me the attention that you
give them, and I dont expect you to love me back
either."
This were one of the last few words that I told him. And I told myself over and over again, tonight I'm losing him, but he's not losing me. I can't understand myself. I want him out of my life but I cant quite submit to the
thought. Maybe because there was a time in our friendship that I loved him much more than the expected relationship we have. But the thought and "that" feeling was long gone. I dont know why and when I lost it, but all I know is that Im hurting not
because he cant love me, but because I cant understand why he keeps on ignoring me. Is it because he thinks that if I get too close with him I'll bug him again with my feelings? Or maybe because he thinks Im still inlove with him and my world wont rotate without him.That or the other, i still cant understand.

Leads me to one question, why do people pretend that they care when they really dont? WHy do they keep on saying they'll call when they dont. Why do they have
to say they'll make up for something they did wrong and still not do it. Why do they have to lie about things?About what they really feel?

Tonight, I will cry, but not as much as I've cried before. Why? I dont know. Maybe its because of the thought that sunk into my mind as I was texting him.

"Whatever you say, he'll keep on ignoring you till the
last minute." It gets louder and louder and louder
till I cant hear anymore sounds. I was already deaf. I
was already blind. And already dead.

andrama ko. walang basagan ng trip

oh happy day........

2004-11-09T00:40:00.000-08:00
I'm having one of those introspective, pseudo-feel good/working out my life sort of moments... I doubt I'd be able to explain it in THIS particular venue, but chat with me sometime about it and I might be able to explain it...

standing right next to me

Love is like the wind,
Sometimes it blows your way,
And until now
It missed me somehow.

But when I turned around
I saw you standing there.
The sound of your voice-
I had no choice.

I used to have a wish
One day I'd feel like this.
Now I know love exists
'Cause it's standing right next to me.

Beneath the moon tonight
I see it in your eyes
No more false starts,
No more broken hearts.

I used to have a wish
One day I'd feel like this.
Now I know love exists
'Cause it's standing right next to me.

Even in the dark,
Even when you're gone
I feel you in my heart.

I used to have a wish
One day I'd feel like this.
Now I know love exists
'Cause it's standing right next to me.

Standing right next to me

2004-11-07T23:54:00.000-08:00
my friend BB a.k.a john posted this on the ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS thread..so hilarious.. hahaha

as a welcome segway and diversion during these difficult times, i would like to present a bar price list of the aa women. apparently, the aa men were put on a mock price list last night as to how much they could fetch on the whitebird market. 5,000.00 an hour maximum damage. here is our list and our vengeance:

eytch - aside from her charming looks and much vaunted skills in the sack, she brings to the table a whole network of resources. her underworld contacts could provide horny patrons, several lifetimes' supply of professional flesh along with her own charms.

gro/ future mamasan - 4,500.00 an hour

MISBEHAVIN - rumored superb oral skills, enthusiasm, a bubbly personally, and a very active imagination make her the ideal phone sex operator. by talking to men alone on the phone, she could get them off and keep a massive influx of cash coming.

phone sex operator - 6 hour shift, premium rate of 30 dollars an hour roughly equivalent to 1,665.00 an hour.

eight of orbs - freak girl supreme. you want it, she'll do it. whips, chains, threesomes, dominatrix, group s**t, front door, back door, THE WORKS. done well, done right, done discretely. can cater to the most sublime kinkmasters out there and definitely not for the faint of heart.

freaky dominatrix call girl - about 3,750.00 an hour. minimum 2 hours per session.

deli - the prima dona in bed. likes to be pampered, served and serves it up as well. wants it rough, but usually slow and easy with lots of panting and huge energy expenditure. marathoners and triathletes most defintely welcome.

exotic dancer (but available for take out after her set to lessen her energy level) - 1,500.00 an hour minimum 6 hour engagement - hourly rate is low because of high minimum time booking.

sophia - shy geisha girl. subservient oriental comfort woman. very reserved, repressed, and quiet. only available to very select clientele for limited engagements only. will wash, clean, and even bathe clients but not too openly skilled in advanced kama sutra positions - yet very willing to learn. with the proper tutelage, can become a world class geisha escort.

newbie geisha girl - complete geisha experience for limited short term stays in the country. 1,000.00 an hour, minimum 48 hour engagement.

zerreit - bitchy, and very picky, escort. doesn't do a lot of tricks and may occassionally shove customers around if they get out of line (not in the kinky sort of way but just plain old slap 'em around). difficult to push, yet very marketable to intelligent and sophisticated s&m freaks. typically a pimp's nightmare.

nasty, selective part time escort - price varies depending on availability, intelligence of client, her mood, time of the day, the alignment of the planets, chemical composition of the air, and whatever else reason she may come up with. a tough sell, so rate could go real low or skyrocket.

ma - medically diagnosed nymphomaniac. will go run if she's in the mood and will not stop until she's satisfied. rough and tumble, wild and wooly. a true warrior. likes the job and doesn't hide it. relaizes all the tricks of the trade and uses them to her advantage. a true hustler who enjoys the game almost as much as the deed. a freak girl.

porno actress - 3,500 an hour.

lipstick - knows all the dirt on so many people. a veritable information repository. does not do the deed but knows everything about it from previous experiences and second hand information. retired from the trade yet still a useful resource in the trade.

head mamasan - 500 an hour tip per inquiry.

witchcat - caters to aging ex-playboys who still think they've got "it" and wanna do it with young looking chicks without going to jail. jalosjos syndrome without the legal complications. schoolgirl fantasies are her expertise, along with bondage, and feeding her man.

schoolgirl fantasy escort / man feeder - 3,000 an hour.

vixen - specializes in vocal sexual stimulation. can run the whole range of sweet heavenly singing but can also abruptly switch to sailor like cursing in a heartbeat. a sweet yet feisty temptress with the drinking capacity of most medium sized barangays.

starlet - 5,000.00 an hour. extra charges if she has to sing. plus all her ladies drinks.

debonaire - crackwhore transvestite streetwalker. hangs out near atrium at night hoping to land stupid drunk tourists who might think he's a real girl despite his beard.

50 pesos whole night… anything you want… may sukli pa.

--------------------------------------------------------

VIRTUES OF AN ARCHITECT
Marcus Vitruvius Pollio

May the architect be high minded
Not arrogant, but faithful,
Just, and easy to deal with,
Without avarice, not let his mind
Be occupied in receiving gifts,
But let him preserve his good
Name with dignity.

Have faith…faith that if you believe in something so much, the universe will conspire to make it happen

2004-11-07T23:35:00.000-08:00
the grinch who stole cristmas...

Mahiwagang salamin ni boy abunda
Ewan ko ba, pero naaaliw ako kay kuya boy. Haha. Kuya ampotah. Close! Dali, kunyari ako yung iniinterview nya. Anything under the sun. ako naman si gaga, sasagot lang ng sasagot…

Boy abunda: hello margret. Now, imagine yourself in front of my mahiwagang salamin. Ok? And every question I ask you, jan ka lang sa salamin tumingin. Kausapin mo sya. Game?

Me: sisiw. Shoot!

Boy Abunda: define bad sex

Me : ahihi naku naman kuya boy. Kayo ha…hmmm…bad sex…boring. Routine. When they huff and puff but don’t blow the house down. Sex for the sake of scratching an itch on either side.

Boy Abunda: how do men make sex forgettable?

Me : kuya boy tungkol ba to lahat sa sex? Ahihi. Skipping foreplay. Going to the main thing right away.

Boy Abunda: when do you say a relationship works?

Me : ahihi…when it’s a joyride in every aspect. Not monotonous and with a lot of variations.
Boy Abunda: who do you think is the ideal partner? Someone you like but don’t love but is terrific in bed or someone you love but is a complete bedroom disaster?

Me: ahihi…kuya boy talaga.. yung second. I think it would be easier to work with that. What makes great sex is not where or how you’re touched. It’s how one expresses himself during this intimate moment. After all, he can be taught. If you choose someone you don’t like but is great in bed, forget it. What if you find him disgusting afterwards? Dabah?

Boy Abunda: bongga ka bakla. Salamat margret…. At magbabalik po ang…

Me: THE BASH!!!!!!! WAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

SO MANY STUPID STARLETS, SO FEW COMETS

The buzz: ano sa tingin mo ang edge mo sa iba pang boldstars?
STARLET: edge? Edad?

Putangina ka. Maghubad ka na lang. Eto pa..hihirit pa ulit
The buzz: complete this sentence…”I’m born with….”
STARLET: I’m born with…san ako nanggaling? Hmmm…yung province namin sa davao

Juskopo…
Sunod naman yung bading na pangit..si ian valdez ata yun.. pinagmamalaki nya na sha yung pinakaunang bading na nagsuot ng darna costume

Ian: (habang gumigiling giling).. DARNA! Oh diba…jetlag! (jetsetter dapat yung sasabihin nya)

Tapos humirit pa…kakaiba daw shang bakla

Ian: at least hindi ako screaming PAYGOT!

Puta ka. Che!

Balik tyo sa starlet…diba lahat ng guests nila pinapasigaw nila ng “magbabalik po ang THE BUZZ!”

The buzz: …magbabalik po ang..

STARLET: THE BASH?

Sensha na wala akong masulat. wahahahahahaha

2004-11-03T00:11:00.000-08:00
clancy, dondon, lolo cito and vincent

Consolation springs from sources deeper far than deepest suffering.
-William Wordsworth

my condolences to mama lips and her husband, CLANCY's family..the AA pipol will always be here for you..
---
i lost my friend DON DON last week. he had a heart attack at the age of 23. i will surely miss him..
---
i miss TATA so much...(lolo cito) i cried the other night when i saw his picture...i remember the day he died and i has in fontana having fun with my friends... i still hate myself for not being there to see him...
---
someone used to tell me that the first time you fALL inlove,it changes your life forever,and no matter how hard you try, the feeling never goes away...VINCENT, my first boyfriend, died 4years ago. i still think about him once in a while..i miss him a lot.

Pain—has an Element of Blank—
It cannot recollect
When it began—or if there were
A time when it was not—
-Emily Dickinson

Perhaps a scene that illustrates this painful, mind-numbing state is from "Sleepless in Seattle." Tom Hanks' character describes the days following the death of his wife, reliving those feelings as he is interviewed on the phone. He states " I had to remind myself to breathe." Equally descriptive are the words of Pink Floyd. In this stage of the grief process, as part of the body's natural protective response to loss, a person may become "comfortably numb." I can remember times when in the early stages of grief, listening to this music and these lyrics and going numb.

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship, smoke on the horizon.
You are only coming through in waves.
Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying.
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons.
Now I've got that feeling once again
I can't explain you would not understand
This is not how I am.
I have become comfortably numb.

Pink Floyd
----------------------------------------------------------------

what is darkness but the absence of light? if we never knew the sun, would we be content with the night?

now i realize that in my life, there will always be tension, between secrecy and openess, between anonimity and recognition. my challenge is to reconcile the darkness of my past and the light of my present,to strike a balance between my striving for excellence and recognizing my inherent worth...

what are fireflies without the darkness to illuminate?

yowch........

anyway...congrats to JOEY. hahaha dude! sana tumagal kayo ni sheryl..naknampotah. whirlwind romance at its best! hahahahhaha. makulay na muli ang mundo mo..nakangiti ka na ulit habang nagtetext..nang-iinggit ka na saming mga walang kalaguyo...namu. hahahaha. remember ung sinabe namin sayo...tama muna kang wahahahahahaah

2004-10-27T01:37:00.000-07:00
usher said...

i'm twisted coz one said of me is telling me that i need to move on, on the other side i wanna breakdown and cry...

-burn

U got, u got it bad
When you're on the phone
Hang up and you call right back
U got, u got it bad
If you miss a day without your friends
Your whole life's off track
You know you got it bad when you're stuck in the house
You don't wanna have fun
It's all you think about
U got it bad when you're out with someone
But you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else
U got it bad

-you got it bad

When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to
But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to
Even though this might bruise you
Let it burn (let it burn, let it burn, you gon'learn)
Let it burn (gotta let it burn)
Gotta let it burn

Deep down you know its best for yourself but you
Hate the thought of her being with someone else
But you know that it's over
Been knew it was through
Let it burn
Let it burn
Gotta let it burn

-burn ulet

If love was a bird
Then we wouldn't have wings
If love was a sky
We'd be blue
If love was a choir
You and I could never sing
Cause love isn't for me and you

If love was an Oscar
You and I could never win
Cause we can never act out our parts
If love is the Bible
Then we are lost in sin
Because its not in our hearts

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

If love was a fire
Then we have lost the spark
Love never felt so cold
If love was a light
Then we're lost in the dark
Left with no one to hold

If love was a sport
We're not on the same team
You and I are destined to lose
If love was an ocean
Then we are just a stream
Cause love isn't for me and you

So why don't you go your way
And I'll go mine
Live your life, and I'll live mine
Baby you'll do well, and I'll be fine
Cause we're better off, separated

-separated

minsan naiinis ako kay usher. lagi kasing patama sakin yung mga kanta nya..mukang tanga. i wanna move on pero itong si usher..always reminding me of my loss. leche. haha isisi daw ba lahat kay usher. nakasava sa fone ko yung dong na "burn" paulit ulit ko pinapakinggan. let it burn gaget. paulit ulit nyang sinasabi sakin. shaddap!
buburahin ko na nga ung "burn" sa phone ko. baka bigla ako magpatiwakal. hahaha

love sucks moment na naman ba ito? dumdidumdidum

yowch

2004-10-26T02:34:00.000-07:00
got this prayer thru email...prayer ko na to for myself

dear heavenly father,

i confess that i have not always been as careful as i should've been with my heart. from time to time, my desire for love has caused me to leave my heart in the wrong hands. i now commit my heart into your hands for safekeeping.
please help me to stop being so impulsive with what you deem so precious. as i learn to celebrate your love for me,let me learn from your example what a bridegroom should really be like. help me to never settle for less than what you desire for me.
as i embrace you as the lover of my soul, keep my affections in the haven of your own heart. as i rest in your love, make me more discriminating of those who approach me. i ask that you take over this area of my life. keep me from those you know would hurt my heart. i invite you to set a hedge around me and keep me from all who would draw me into unfruitful relationships until the day you present me to the mate that you have selected for me.
grant me the discernment to recognize him as he recognizes me.cleanse me from the temptation to typecast the men i meet according to what i see.help me to trust in your knowledge and lean not on my own understanding.i know that you know what is best for me, therefore,i yield to your choice. in jesus name

amen

i don't need a bunch of men in my life to make me feel alright about myself. i need only one man...my man, the one God has selected to select me. trust me, the right man at the wrong time can be just as awful as the wrong man at any time. so i trust God's timing in this. he is the ultimate matchmaker. i'll just have to relax, sit pretty and allow myself to be found...

love sucks club ba ulit? hahahahaha lech. bitter ito! hahahahaha

2004-10-21T23:36:00.000-07:00
falling

i have a propensity for falling. i remember falling down the stone steps of my lolo's house when i was 4. in my young life, i have also fallen a couple of times from low waterfalls, a few more stairs, a roof, some boats (during my rowing days at uste) and even a discharge canal somewhere in the fort, the last as i was doing my thesis.
of course , i have fallen in other ways. there was that experience of graduating with honors in grade school and suddenly struggling like most of ym classmates in highschool and college. or joining a singing contest, only to forget the lyrics during the performance. and i have fallen in love, which can be the most wonderfulor the most frightening fall of all.
it is wonderful to feel yourselfbeing suspended, no matter if it is a one confusing carnival ride. when your whole being is focused solely on this wonderful being, all you want is savor that wonderful feeling of having your insides scrambled up. i should know,like i said, i have a propensity for falling.
it becomes frightening when you find yourself falling for so long and then, looking down and seeing there's nothing down there to catchyou or cushion your fall.the thud of your feet on cold concrete is a very painful reminder that falling also means hitting the bottom. and nothin hurts like solid ground.
but we have heard it all before: it does'nt matter matter how many times we fall; its how many times we get up and move on that matters.
true...there is beauty in falling, because in our rising we become stronger persons. the sculptor julie Lluch once said that she portrays women heroes in positions of suffering, because it is during their most helpless moments that the true revolution-the spiritual revolution, takes place.
i have fallen in different ways and everytime i fellbecause i dared to go up there and risked falling. if i hadn't been so determined in pursuing my thesis that far, i wouldn't have fallen into the discharge canal.if i hadn't challenges my singing ability,i wouldn't have embarrassed myself infront of the audience.and if i hadn't made myself vulnerable by loving,my heart would have remained intact.

but i did. and now i can look into the mirror and see a face made lovely by the courage of staring into the grand canyon of the unknown. to not risk is to not live at all. like an ugly duckling poised for flight,i can only become the swan i am meant to be if i stand on the precipice and let go and drop, uncertain and beautiful in midair.

yowch

2004-10-18T22:55:00.000-07:00
..she gave me her diary and asked me to read what she wrote about me __years ago.....

july 15. 19??
..i detest any form of substance abuse, for i've seen what it does to people to people. it has the power to instill fear. it also gives a person a temporary feeling of strenght that is bound to deserthim at the most crucial moment. but it's different when i have to confront these demons when someone i love is involved.
i approached gaget cautiously, and she hurled herself at me. she hugged me as if she wanted tp sap my strenght. finally i understood what she was saying. she was cursing a man, i didn't know. then she was cursing her life, her fate and blaming God foe everything bad that happened to her.
at first i made a half-hearted effort to placate her. i knew she was drunk and it was useless trying to reason with her. then i looked into her eyes, and saw something very frightening there. it was as if i was gazing into the very depths of her soul. i saw a girl into a pit of despair. i was no stranger to these feelings. i sometimes felt them too. i wanted to tell her this like i used to do in the past but i knew she was beyond my reach.i hated to admit it. but at that moment, i gave up on her like all the others.
its quite sad, but the people you love has the greatest power to hurt you. gaget has hurt me a 100x but no matter how i try to shut her out , she has the power to make me care. she has become an enigma. i try to be as patient and as understanding, but i can't make sense of the things that she dowes to herself. she goes out with men older than her.there are times i would see bruises on her body but she just shrugs whenever i ask er what happened.
these past years...she has alienated herself from everything. she is convinced she is safe and invincible in her fake sophistication.
sometime i would look for the traces of the girl i once knew. and then i'd wish that she never grew up and never knew this pain.
that morning, i was seeing a different version of the person i loved. she was ready to explode in a murderous fury.we fought over the blade she used to slash herself.
now at night...and lying beside her,i'm afraid to close my eyes. i fear that i may woke up to find her dead. i want to run away but it seem be bound to her for life.i can never leave.i am bound by the burden of my guilt and my own inability to help her..

yowch

what an ugly past...i don't wanna look back anymore.i was such a mess

2004-10-15T03:01:00.000-07:00
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS: the few, the proud, and the drunk

from the AA's friendster profile
An Alcoholista can probably be defined as a uniquely special breed of Alcoholic. One who genuinely lives and embodies the true spirit of the drink - and the camraderie that comes with it. And, One who proudly stands faithful and true to the fellowship of people that one drinks with.

An Alcoholista may be both revered and reviled for a variety of reasons...amongst them, the view that Alcoholistas are the life of the Party - a misconception, considering that Alcoholistas are actually the Party itself. Whatever the Perception or Misconception, Alcoholistas are also known to care less about the tirades of others, and care more about the camraderie that we share in the bonds that we keep.

Some of the Common Traits of Alcoholistas include being...

A HEARTY DRINKER - Alcoholistas love their Alcohol with a Fervor. Whiskey, Wine, Vodka, Tequila, Liquor and Beer are usual regular staples (With brands like Jack Daniels, Jim Beam, Absolut, Stolichnaya, Cuervo, Baileys, Mudslide, San-Miguel and Red-Horse leading the list of preferences)

A HEAVY EATER - Bacchus once said that Good Wine will never be complete without Good Food. This is one area where a true Alcoholista will always happily oblige. From tasty BYOB Party fare...To zesty SFM Gimmick snacks; From Food-Trip Gimmicks announced on the fly...To Ultimate Buffet Raids planned weeks in advance - A true-blue Alcoholista relishes succulent, sumptuous cuisine, which is best enjoyed in the company of friends. (An Alcoholista's list of preferred dining establishments can put a Gourmand's list to shame: Whether its Curry at the Bombay Canteen, Japanese at Little Tokyo, Pasta at Amichi, Fastfood at GT & LKG, Burgers at 90 Proof & Speedzone, Pritson Wrap at Timpla, Crispy Pata at Dencios, or Everything at Dad's...Every Alcoholista is up to the Challenge!)

A HAPPY KANGER - A true Alcoholista recognizes the importance of Kang to ones physical, mental and emotional Health and Well-being. In fact, "Kang" is the only other acceptable excuse for missing a much anticipated AA gimmick. (Note that the other acceptable excuse being Work/Family. Sickness is not considered a valid excuse). Many legendary Kangers come from the ranks of Alcoholistas - this includes the boys behind Mr.Happy, Mr.Braggy, Da Anaconda, Da Balahura Cannon, and Da Cock; this also includes da gels (ALL of the AA GIRLS!) *heheheh*.

A GENUINE FRIEND - "Strength and Honor" is the byline of the Alcoholista code. True enough - perhaps the best practiced secret to the solidarity behind this group of wild, happy, feisty, drunken pervs is the fact that - you can count on an Alcoholista to be behind their brethren, sisthren and fellows at anytime, all the time. This is One Fellowship that refuses to be broken.

This is the essence behind every Alcoholista.
And These are the secrets behind the succesful bonding together of a varied mix of strong personalities and unique individuals: Of Drunks AND Of Pervs; Of DBF's in denial AND Of Self-Proclaimed Jologers; Of Kings & Queens of Kang AND Of Tigangers by Press-Release; Of Stealthy Operators AND Of Shock & Awers; Of Cheerleaders AND Of BasketBallers AND Of Just Plain Ballers. Together WE are the FELLOWSHIP OF THE DRINK!

*CHEERS!*

obyus bang wala akong masulat? kaya ipopromote ko na lng dito ang friskiest bunch sa mtc hahaha....

the testimonials...

ERGOE: Kami ay elitista. Bawal mag-Tagalog
pag kami ang inyong kausap.
(***rewind**) We are elitists. It is
explicitly forbidden for you to talk
to us in Tagalog, for we only speak in
English. We like making defamatory
comments about everybody. It is thus
but natural for everybody to hate us.
It is this hate which drives everybody
to make us the center of their
attention. Being worthless arrogant
snobs, we take pride in the intellect
and quality of our little crew (which
is getting smaller by the day).
AHAHAHAHA! Truthfully though, we're
just a group of dorky bastards (who
never get laid and just end up
disappointing our f*ck when we do
manage to get some) brought together
by the only thing that makes us happy--
ALCOHOL. We are the few, the proud,
and the drunk. And you know how
somebody once said you should never
get in a fight with drunks? Whoever he
was, he was right.

LORIE: The Alcoholistas consist of very
colorful characters. We've got an
anaconda, a retired porn star, an oc
mod, an eternal flirt, a bingkong
king, a buking king, a cuking ina, a
gas-sniffing engineer, an evil one, an
oc kitty, a resident bodyguard,
etcetera, etcetera. Makes me wonder
why we attract them psychobitches.
Seriously though, they are the nicest
bunch of misunderstood assholes and
bitches I have ever met, and I
wouldn't want them in any other way.
Life without them would be very very
dull. We may be proud, we may be few,
but we are proud of being one of the
few truest, nicest, funniest, good
looking drunks in the whole wide
world. :)

DONNA: HIC!

MARGRET beautiful people inside and
out...AWARD!

VICKY We put the F in Fun...The U in
Unsinkable...The C in Cerebral...The K
in Kang...The E in Exclusive (according
to some people)...the R in
Renegades...and the S in SOLID. In
short, we are FUCKERS! Nyahahahaha!

KRUNCH:ako lang ang
tanging alcoholista na may lisensyang
gumamit ng tagalog, pabalbal man o
patalinhaga sa kadahilanang..dumurugo
ang aking ilong at wepaks whenever i
speak english..if you know what i
mean?..mwehehehe ...sa tinagaltagal ng
aking pagsamasama o pag karaykaray sa
mga laki sa layaw na mga lashengong
ito..isa lang ang aking napansin..bukod
sa nakalalangong likido,pagniniig at
higit sa lahat pangaalipusta ng kapwa,
sa maniwala kayo't hindi, ang buong
kapisanan ay may dambuhalang puso, na
kayang tumulong sa sino mang
nangangailangan, ilang beses ko ng
nasaksihan ito...sa alfaro, ng tulungan
ng isang miembrong mag palit ng gulong
ang isang grupo ng kabataan na na
PLATAN ng gulong...sa PASIG..ng sama
samang pagtulungan ng 4 na miembro na
pawiin ang kati ng dalawang kaluluwa na
uhaw sa kalinga...kaya sa inyong lahat
sa kapatiran!!! isang lang ang masasabi
ko pagkatapos ng

TREBS: The United Nations of MTC. Known for
it's genteel, well-bred, and moneyed
gentlemen and luciously, sinfully
delicious ladies.

MEC:My gawsh, Alcoholistas rule ever!! I
mean not only are they fakkin'
individuals who can bloody stand up on
their own and manage their own affairs,
they're also exciting to be with. I
swear! where else can you find people
who can make badminton a laugh fest? Or
people who can make parking at a Caltex
station all kinds of memorable and
educational? I mean, they just go to
anywhere and everywhere and their girls
just keep moaning everytime. it's sooo
masaya ever!!

People keep saying we're mean and cruel
and so what? if what we say is
the bloody truth, how can that be mean
at all? It surely isn't our fault
if we put a premium on truth
devah? What if we're intolerant of
wrong grammar by pretentious people?
And so what if we all have boats? So
what din if we're allergic to turtles
& love spending good money on good
food and drinks? Every group is
entitled to its quirks after all.
And we'd always remain, THE FEW, THE
PROUD, the SEXY

2004-10-14T01:54:00.000-07:00
haynako...para sa kanila to...sira tuloy araw ko

....but then again, why do i even bother? it's their lives, not mine. they are old enough to know better. so why do i fret?

i guess there's this part of me that just doesn't want to admit that the world i live in really sucks. i want to be to 10 years old again, when the uncertainties and woes of adulthood were eons away. when everything was simple and uncomplicated---- and beautiful. not here in this age when i learn that nothing i was taught really matters anymore. like fidelity...like GENDER..like love. not here, now when everything crumbles like just when you thought the CRUISING IS SMOOTH...
i ponder and ponder until my head starts pounding.

reality is too much for me. i accept that now. maybe it's cowardly to shut out things that doesn't sit well with me but if it's only the way for me to get going, then i will.

it's going to take me a long time to acept that i can't spend the rest of my life worrying about people's souls. haha. that's a laugh. what am i talking about? i'm not even a devout practioner of my faith. i don't even know for sure if there's a heaven.
maybe i'm a hypocrite...yowch

--------------------------
happy birthday to one of the nicest people ever...DADDY ABET. thank you for inspiring us all. DMC loves you. bangus!!!!!!!!

2004-10-10T23:12:00.000-07:00
mabuhay ang mga aning!

yesterday was my bestfriend joanna paula's (jowee) wedding. she married angelo fernando (don). i first met him last november. naalala ko pa kung gano kiligin si jowi habang kinikwento nya sakin si don. nakita nya kasi sa friendster...tapos she called me ata nun and told me na yung guy na super papansin sa ust before, ang gwapo na daw hahaha. sabi ko di ko maalala. sabi nya "yung guy na laging naka shades na malaki, tpos super payat" ...mejo naalala ko...tapos nung na meet ko na..oh ok. sha nga! hahaha. tapos we had dinner sa USTeak sa may p. noval. kasama si getty, ung isang bestfriend si jowi from highskul. dating gawi..interview ko yung guy. lahat ata ng dumaang lalaki *or babae* kay jowi..nainterview ko na. package deal yun eh. he turned out to be an ok guy. nakahanap ng katapat si jowi ko. parehong aning..parehong fashionista..parehong easy go lucky...basta. all i wanted naman was to see her happy.
ayun, since then..hindi na sila naghihiwalay..nung una nagtatampo pa ko, kasi mas madalas na sila magkasama..hindi ako sanay. pero naging busy na rin ako..kaya pag nakikita ko silang dalwa..naeexcite ako. lalo na yung nag ukay ukay kami sa haus nila. ang saya magbenta. hehe
they gave me the most unforgettble bday gift..asa 90proof ako nun, celebrating with my dmc and AA friends. dumating silang dalwa. and told me they're having a baby..and will be getting married soon...super lasing na ko nun...kept hugging jowi and telling her how happy i am.
yesterday...parang ako yung ikakasal. hindi mapakali. hindi pa rin nagsisink-in sakin na ikakasal na ang buddy ko. sa barkada kasi sha yung sinabi naming isa sa mga huling ikakasal..pag ibig nga naman. super teary eyed kami nila ivy while they're exchanging vows..architect joanna paula aguilar-tatad...whew!

jowi's one of the bravest persons i've ever met. she knows what she wants and goes for it. many people may say na hindi bagay sa kanya ang magpakasal...naisip ko na din yun..pero i know jowi when she's inlove...and i know that this thing with don...will go a long way. i'm sure of that. i've seen how don treats her sisters...and how he is to his friends..and like jowi, he values them and never take anything for granted.
i've known them together...and i've known them apart...all i can say is, they deserve to have each other. indeed a match made in heaven.

buddy...i love you. i'm sorry sa mga nangyari. lamo na yun. can't wait to see u again. ingatan mo inaanak ko.

don...thank you for giving jowi the love she truly deserves. mabuhay ang mga aning!!!!

2004-10-08T00:22:00.000-07:00
love sucks club

sino gusto sumali? si joey , tatakbong presidente ng club. nyahahaha. sawa na ko mag emote. sawa na ko tumawag sa bespren ko or kay dadi abet or kay jing para magsumbong ng mga bago kong heart eyk. sawa na ko kiligin sa mga text nila tapos mawiwindang lang pag nabalitaang hindi lang ako yung sinasabihan nila ng ganun, sawa na ko tumingin sa kawalan, na parang gumagawa ng music video,habang may mga luhang nag uunahang tumulo sa aking mga byutipul eyes. kakasawa.

so...katulad nila whoopie goldberg, drew barrymore..at ni..(sino nga ba un? ung third gurl sa movie na "boys on the side"?) isasantabi ko muna ang mga boylets at ang ipapahinga ang aking puso...n nyahaha.

di naman siguro ako mamamatay ng walang bf. ansarap sarap maging single *bitter*. pwede kang mag date kahit kelan *plastik* . ang solusyon ay ang LOVE SUCKS CLUB. kung saan ang misyon ay ang ipagsigawan sa buong mundo na nakapag move on na kami, at hindi na muna kami iibig. *dare!*

malay mo..pag sumali ka sa love sucks club,dun mo makilala yung soulmate mo..haha. nagkainlaban sa LSC. astig.

sali na. itigil na ang pag iyak. itigil na ang pag emote. itigil na ang pag gawa ng music video. itigil na ang pagtibok ng inyong mga puso...

morbid ampotah

2004-10-07T01:14:00.000-07:00
i love myself

i want to celebrate myself. this is who i am. i can take care of myself, but i would not shy away from strong arms that would be willing to take care of me. i can be alone with my soul and drink in silence...just thinking, without being afraid.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

we are supposed to outgrow our past...the past is not suppose to outgrow us

"change into who you are,
not who you are trying to be"

my past has outgrown me...and I am left alone with nothing.

yowch

2004-10-05T23:51:00.000-07:00
dip me in chocolate and throw me to the lesbians..

maybe i'm destined to spend the rest of my life with a gurl..hahaha. i've been thru a lot of failed relationships, and almost-but-not-quites and believe me...nawindang lang ako ng todo. after 5 years of being inseparable with my bestfriend jowi in college, medyo nabago ata sexual preferences ko..haha. you see, she's bi. madalas akong mag sleep over sa kanila. may mga damit na nga ako dun sa knila kasi super dalas ako nandun. she's an only child, and she loves having us over.
anyway, hindi ko pa narealize yung changes agad. after graduation dun na ko naweirduhan sa sarili ko...basta. wag na idetalye *evil grin*

a friend asked me if i've ever been sexually intimate with a girl...sabi ko..nooninooninooninoo *todong evil grin*

i'm quite open about this with my internet friends. minsan nga niloloko ko mga guy friends ko na aagawin ko mga girlets nila. hehe. and being with the alcoholista women...kakaloka. at home na at home ako. because its a normal thing for them. labeeetttttt...
namiss ko sila bigla..

to the powder room!*abot batok na evil grin*

eager angel...

2004-10-05T02:39:00.000-07:00
eager angel....

heaven knows i'm miserable right now...

bakit kelangan pag malungkot ka, bigla kang sasabayan ng senti songs. tapos lalo kang magiging miserable..titingin sa kawalan..mag eemote..lech.
nung weekend, i've decided to let go of him. kasi habang tumatagal, lalo akong nababaliw. hindi kasi tama. he only thinks of me as a friend. magmumuka naman akong desperada kung ipipilit ko yung sarili ko sa kanya.
ok naman pala...kala ko kasi, once mangyari to, mas lalo akong mawiwindang. hindi pala. narealize ko, hindi ko kelangan ng love life para maging masaya. ang plastik ko daw..sabi ng friend ko. well, siguro nung una..in denial pa kasi..pero ngayon, kaya ko na nga. mas naging madali. hindi na komplikado ang buhay.

kadiri..lastnigth, asked him to call me. and hindi sya pwede. tinanong nya kung bakit..gave him the pinaka korning sagot ever... ..wala lang..gusto ko lang icheck kung kakabog pa din yung dibdib ko pag kausap kita...
puta...jologs bigtime. hahaha.

...kanina sa ym conference with my alcoholic friends.."love sucks" ang naging battlecry namin...hahahah. pero excited pa din ako mainlove ulit. naghahanap na nman ako ng sakit ng ulo. eager angel! yebah.

2004-09-30T00:21:00.000-07:00
everything i am

you are the inspiration
for everything i do
and everything i will be doing
will still be offered to you

in everything i have
there's really nothing i can own
for you're the only reason
that i'm no longer alone

you're the real true reason
for what i have become
now i'm a better person
because of what you've done

i've become so much stronger
than the person i was before
after everything you've given me
how can i ever ask for more

so immensely i thank you
for putting me through this pain
but tell me was i that unworthy
for you to carefully disdain?

disconsolately asking
what have i done wrong?
was it because i've loved you
unconditionally for so long?

even though i knew
that you could not care less,
i did everything i could
lest without you in my life
would be such a mess

everything i am
is all because of what you've put me through
but i can't deny that lovin you
is the greatest thing i can do...

2004-09-28T01:25:00.000-07:00
listened to rx kanina...number 4 na ang "kahit na" ng mahal kong BRIDGE..and soon they will be fetured sa rx concert series..yowch! kelan kaya sila babalik sa 90proof? *sniff* miss ko na si johnoy..*lande*

kahit na

Di na kailangan pang mag-isip kung tayo nang dalawa
Di sa lahat ng bagay tayo ay magkatugma
Bastat pag-ibig natin ang siyang magdadala
Bahala na

Ang dami dami mong katwiran nagbibilang ka ba
Masinop ka, makalat ako
Naiiyak ka, pero natatawa ako
Pabagu-bago ang isip mo nung desidido ako
Eh ano ngayon

Kahit na
Oras oras tayong di magkasundo
Kahit na
Lagi lagi tayong may tampuhan
Kahit na
Tayo pa rin diba

Natitiis ba natin ang lambing ng isa't isa
Mga yakap at halik, at kung ano pa
Maliliit na bagay kayang palampasin na
Ganyan talaga

------------------
you've got to hide ur love away

Here I stand, head in hand
turn my face to the wall
if, she´s gone, I can´t go on
feeling two foot small

Everywhere, people stare
Each and every day
I can see them laugh at me
and I hear them say

Hey, you´ve got to hide your love away (x2)

How can I even try?
I can never win
Hearing them, seeing them,
In the state I´m in

How could she
say to me, "love will find a way"?
gather ´round all you clowns
let me hear you say

Hey, you´ve got to hide your love away (x2)

lako masulat.

2004-09-27T03:19:00.000-07:00
Everything that is unfair, that is unjust, I want to end.

2004-09-27T01:22:00.000-07:00
windang

confusion's sweeping over me
dunno what's going on
everything that was so familiar
has vanished, all is gone

can't figure it all out
i dunno where i stand
i don't have any answers
to the questions now at hand

what seems important to others
is not important to me
if i'm not doing anything wrong
why can't i be free

why can't they understand
that since i nearly died
i found out what's important
what makes me happy inside...

2004-09-24T01:26:00.000-07:00
second chance...pls?

A life changing experience happened to me just recently. This experience turned my world completely. They say things like this happen for a reason. Hmmm… but never in my dreams did I see this coming. I can’t fully understand why it had to be my family. I’ve always thought that ours was one of the most ideal families in the whole world. Haha love your own. I hate not seeing my dad…or my siblings. I’m not complaining being stuck with my mum. I love her. And this recent experience brought us closer together. But I want what we had before.
Sometimes, God tells us to do one thing but because we are stubborn, we do the opposite. It is only when we get kicked in the butt and find our selves down in the mud that we wake up and discover opportunities that have been lying there all along. Nobody can fully discover how lucky we really are until the hard facts of life bulldoze their way into our existence…agree?
This too shall pass…sounds like a cliché but I’m holding on to it like a life buoy. To me trials are not reasons to give up but challenge to overcome and thereby improve ourselves. I’m sure we’ll survive this “tragedy”. I just don’t know when this will end.

Forrest Gump said, “life’s like a box of chocolates—you never know what you’re gonna get.” My life has been one big box of chocolates, with lots of surprises and a few miracles…and I’m still waiting for HIM to give us a second chance to suck the life down to its marrow.

Yowch.

2004-09-23T03:00:00.000-07:00
got ink?

i wanna have a tattoo na!!! my futures tats would look like these...

coolness? yebah. hopefully before the end of the year...yowch!

2004-09-21T01:12:00.000-07:00
pwede ba sabihin mo na sakin kung ititigil ko na tong kalokohan na to?

2004-09-20T01:31:00.000-07:00
d u e t
do you still love him?
yes, i do
i'm sorry to hear it
me too...
i'll help you forget
can you?
i'll my best
please do
care for a talk?
alright
come on let's go for a walk
can we jsut take a ride?
you know you make me laugh
and you make me forget
well i'm glad
so i guess we're even
how long has it been?
a year and a month
too short to be seen?
make it a year and two months
is he still the guy?
yes, no, maybe
but my friend, why?
i don't know really
can i court you?
are you serious?
i won't hurt you
that's old news
i realized i love you
it's too soon
take me as something new
and something good?
so, how am i doing?
fine, i guess
am i passing?
you stand a chance

2004-09-17T02:35:00.000-07:00
peechur peechur
ako si kirsten dunst. si jovic si spiderman. yebah

kaya nyo yan? hihihi

bakit ba lagi kong ginagawa yan? talent...

2004-09-17T02:21:00.000-07:00

When something seems wrong in your life, the only way to have resolution with it is to let it go. Trying to make it right keeps it wrong."

i believe in this...letting go is difficult to do though, it comes together with acceptance...which is the hardest. yes, it is easier said than done. i don't want to say, like, "i've been there, done that", i am not saying that i am perfect also. it's just that most things in our lives takes a lot of thinking before making any step or before uttering something. i can understand why there are juveniles on the street, why there are rebels, and why there are people doing the same old thing although they know they need a change to make things better. letting go doesn't mean you lost hope, it's more like of an acceptance within oneself to open another door. maybe then we could see things in a different picture, in a different aspect..maybe then it could make things easier...smooth. trying too hard seemed like blaming one self...or blaming others for what and who you are right now. it;s like making things more difficult than ever.i don't know...maybe this is just me. this is just how i see life...how i live my life...how i am taking things..or how i am reacting to it

change is good...yah think?

2004-09-16T04:34:00.000-07:00
change is good...yah think?

new layout! ampangit...

love me anyway...